So I guess I really suck at this blog writing thing my bad, but here is a much anticipated update.
Being that I’m two weeks from the end of my tour I’ve finally come to terms that I’m the local team. I’ve spent every weekend at the condo. I’ve had to get up crazy early to drive to shows and stand around waiting for our contact person to show up and then do a crazy fast set up with a complicated stage. I’ve had tons of fun hanging out with a best friend and soaking up life.
There have been few highlights this semester. We finally made it out of California, I had been looking forward to breaking outta Cali since I knew I would be stuck here. So we JUST cross the border into Arizona and the van breaks down. We have to be towed back to California. Seriously. The van turns out to be dead dead. The crankshaft is broken in half and half of the oil pan is missing. Once again I managed to do something the mechanic didn’t know was possible. But technically Rosita was driving so she did it. So the engine was dead and Camfel ended up junking Van 19. We got a rental truck, which was a fantastic ride, expect we had to take all the equipment into the hotel with us. Which offered a perfect opportunity to take the dolly for a spin in the parking lot. And we got to spent two fantastic nights with my Aunt and Uncle and have dinner with my Cousin Tara and her family. I realized how much I love my family and how awesome they are. Then we headed back to Cali – not even gone a week.
We also made a trek up to Nevada for a day and that went swell (sarcasm) – we hit the mountains and had to put chains on the tires which neither of us had done so that was an experience. So we aren’t too fond of Nevada and then we went to San Jose for a few nights before thanksgiving. After one of our shows we decided to go check out the Winchester Mystery House which was kinda cool and kinda boring. Thanksgiving was fantastic, well getting there sucked. In true Trostad fashion our ‘new’ van broke down, in the middle of nowhere on some mountain road. I literally had to cross the road to get service to talk to the boss. My aunt and uncle had to come pick us up and take us back to their place – and on the way back we went for a milk shake run at 11 at night to satisfy my uncle. It was a great get away from Diamond Bar and I loved spending time with family. I didn’t want to leave.
I guess most of the interesting moments have the spontaneous moments spent with one of my best friends. We’ve had breakfast pancakes, and dance sessions in the van, tv marathons, soccer and volleyball in the park. We’ve rocked out with Switchfoot and Anberlin, walked countless city, streets and talked so many endless hours. We've met interesting people in schools and out, taken pictures, and moon-walked everywhere. We went to the beach and Ro got her feet washed in the waves and freaked out. We are continually in the search for the perfect FroYo. We stop at random stores along the highway, and take pictures with dinosaurs. I constantly yell out ‘that’s soo pretty’ and scream ‘we’re gonna die’. So this is my life, I get up go to a show, set up, tear down, come home, watch tv, make dinner, go to bed. Just like anybody all my fun is the random stops in between.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Always Waiting.
This was also written a while ago ...
I feel like I’m always waiting for my life to begin. In high school I was waiting for graduation, then college, then moving away, then graduation. I waited for my shift to end, waited for my paper to be written, the exam to be graded, meetings to be over, summer to begin. After Longwood I thought that would be it – the waiting would be done and I’d be a grown up and life would start. And it did … except not for me. I moved back home with my parents and started the serious job hunting that would land me a fabulous job within the month. While I waited for my ‘real’ job to show up I worked with my mom and hated it. I grew frustrated with my life and for the most part wasted my days – I mean it wasn’t a complete waste; I had great times with my friends and Bible study with my girls, and made decent money. Still it wasn’t what I wanted. So I ended up applying for Camfel, and getting this other ‘temp’ job. Now I’m waiting for this tour to be over so I can get my ‘real’ job and start my ‘real’ life. Even now, I feel like I’m waiting for my tour to begin. I’m stuck at the condo just waiting to actually get on the road – when in fact this is my tour, this is my life, this is real.
I hate waiting and I feel like that’s all I ever do. I wait. I’m never content in any circumstance; I’m always waiting for whatever comes next and right now can never be good enough for me. Once again the grass is always greener somewhere else. Here I have this awesome life with amazing friends and an unbelievable family and I wish I was someone else doing anything else.
I’m torn because the Bible says to wait on the Lord and all that mess. So that’s what I do, I wait for God to open up opportunities and to show me what’s next and it works. I guess where I fall short is waiting for tomorrow. I’m constantly looking ahead to what’s next and I’m not focusing on what’s happening now. I’m waiting, but it’s almost like I’m demanding to know what happens next. I trust that God’s got it all figured out and I’m waiting for Him to let me in on the plan, but I’m too focused on what’s next. I need to spend more time enjoying and soaking up the now than wondering what’ll happen in the weeks, months, or years to come. God has me here for a reason, instead of constantly questioning what’s next, I should be focused on His plan for today. So I’m determined to start absorbing today, and not just the fun stuff in between the mundane, I want to live for the ordinary and enjoy the routine everyday stuff. In a few years I’m gonna wish I was still in Diamond Bar lounging around the pool in October … actually I could be wishing that in a few months. :P
I feel like I’m always waiting for my life to begin. In high school I was waiting for graduation, then college, then moving away, then graduation. I waited for my shift to end, waited for my paper to be written, the exam to be graded, meetings to be over, summer to begin. After Longwood I thought that would be it – the waiting would be done and I’d be a grown up and life would start. And it did … except not for me. I moved back home with my parents and started the serious job hunting that would land me a fabulous job within the month. While I waited for my ‘real’ job to show up I worked with my mom and hated it. I grew frustrated with my life and for the most part wasted my days – I mean it wasn’t a complete waste; I had great times with my friends and Bible study with my girls, and made decent money. Still it wasn’t what I wanted. So I ended up applying for Camfel, and getting this other ‘temp’ job. Now I’m waiting for this tour to be over so I can get my ‘real’ job and start my ‘real’ life. Even now, I feel like I’m waiting for my tour to begin. I’m stuck at the condo just waiting to actually get on the road – when in fact this is my tour, this is my life, this is real.
I hate waiting and I feel like that’s all I ever do. I wait. I’m never content in any circumstance; I’m always waiting for whatever comes next and right now can never be good enough for me. Once again the grass is always greener somewhere else. Here I have this awesome life with amazing friends and an unbelievable family and I wish I was someone else doing anything else.
I’m torn because the Bible says to wait on the Lord and all that mess. So that’s what I do, I wait for God to open up opportunities and to show me what’s next and it works. I guess where I fall short is waiting for tomorrow. I’m constantly looking ahead to what’s next and I’m not focusing on what’s happening now. I’m waiting, but it’s almost like I’m demanding to know what happens next. I trust that God’s got it all figured out and I’m waiting for Him to let me in on the plan, but I’m too focused on what’s next. I need to spend more time enjoying and soaking up the now than wondering what’ll happen in the weeks, months, or years to come. God has me here for a reason, instead of constantly questioning what’s next, I should be focused on His plan for today. So I’m determined to start absorbing today, and not just the fun stuff in between the mundane, I want to live for the ordinary and enjoy the routine everyday stuff. In a few years I’m gonna wish I was still in Diamond Bar lounging around the pool in October … actually I could be wishing that in a few months. :P
Driving through the storm.
So I wrote this blog a while ago, but being at the condo without internet has SUCKED and I've been unable to post it but here it is ...
Yup, currently Rosita is driving through a rain storm. I love storms. Especially rain storms. There’s just something about dark gray heavy clouds covering the sun and the rain on my face and being soaked. I like playing in the rain, when the first drops hit my face and the air on my arms stand up and I question why I’m going outside. Then the soft thick drops turn into pelting pings as the clouds release a steady downpour that pounds through the air and my clothes are instantly drenched. I spin around until I’m dizzy and slosh through the puddles, squish through the soft grass, and sink in the Indian sand mud holes. I play ball with the dog and laugh as I whip my head around and the heavy ringlets stick to my face. I like just standing in the middle of the open field, listening to the rain and absorbing the scent of rainfall and renewed earth as the water hits the trees and cleans the terrain. Then the downpour changes to a light drizzle, and it changes back and forth between heavy and light showers.
Then changing and drinking a hot cup of coffee, or tea, or hot chocolate, and reading a book or watching a movie. I like the pounding rain drops, claps of thunder, and snaps of lighting. I like watching the storm move across the sky, I can see it come and watch it go. I like the sun highlighting the fresh lawn. I like feeling the heat on my skin, however I don’t like the thick wet air as the sun steams everything. Of course this is assuming I don’t have anything to do. If I HAVE to go out in the rain it sucks. It makes me sticky and wet and my hair curls and gets poofy – pretty awful. And I don’t like one rainy day after another.
I’ve missed the rain. It hardly ever rains in California. Sure the sunshine is great and the cloudy mornings are awesome but there’s just something about a random rainy day that makes me happy. But I’m glad I’m not in VA where they’ve had day after day after day of rain, that has gotta suck.
Yup, currently Rosita is driving through a rain storm. I love storms. Especially rain storms. There’s just something about dark gray heavy clouds covering the sun and the rain on my face and being soaked. I like playing in the rain, when the first drops hit my face and the air on my arms stand up and I question why I’m going outside. Then the soft thick drops turn into pelting pings as the clouds release a steady downpour that pounds through the air and my clothes are instantly drenched. I spin around until I’m dizzy and slosh through the puddles, squish through the soft grass, and sink in the Indian sand mud holes. I play ball with the dog and laugh as I whip my head around and the heavy ringlets stick to my face. I like just standing in the middle of the open field, listening to the rain and absorbing the scent of rainfall and renewed earth as the water hits the trees and cleans the terrain. Then the downpour changes to a light drizzle, and it changes back and forth between heavy and light showers.
Then changing and drinking a hot cup of coffee, or tea, or hot chocolate, and reading a book or watching a movie. I like the pounding rain drops, claps of thunder, and snaps of lighting. I like watching the storm move across the sky, I can see it come and watch it go. I like the sun highlighting the fresh lawn. I like feeling the heat on my skin, however I don’t like the thick wet air as the sun steams everything. Of course this is assuming I don’t have anything to do. If I HAVE to go out in the rain it sucks. It makes me sticky and wet and my hair curls and gets poofy – pretty awful. And I don’t like one rainy day after another.
I’ve missed the rain. It hardly ever rains in California. Sure the sunshine is great and the cloudy mornings are awesome but there’s just something about a random rainy day that makes me happy. But I’m glad I’m not in VA where they’ve had day after day after day of rain, that has gotta suck.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Dream On
Recently (and by recently I mean a while ago) I was asked what my dreams in life were. My reply was the usual - I don't have any dreams. And it's true, I don't. I kinda just let life happen and fall into this or that. Which is cool, because it’s like I gave my life up to God and I allow Him to direct me. But at the same time it's like maybe I should have a goal in life. Besides the usual happily ever after dream which most girls seek. Honestly, as cheesy as it sounds, all I want to do is to spread the love of Jesus. So many people are hurting inside and I want to show them there is a better way of life.
I use to want to be everything when I grew up, so I did a little of this and some of that but didn't become good at anything. I didn't have to fight for good grades, didn't care about being the best volleyballer or soccer player, I'm happy just tinkering with the piano, I don't mind singing horribly, and I'm cool with writing awesome paragraphs. I'm average. Jack of all trades, master of none. The one thing that I do rock at is entertaining little kids. Little kids love me, no lie, give me a little kid and we'll be best friends. Sadly that doesn't help my dream or career choice.
In the season premiere of Glee last night – yeah I know, I’m a dork – two of the main characters questioned the reality of being good enough to achieve their dreams. It got me thinking, maybe the reason I don’t have dreams for my life is because I never thought I was good enough to be anything. In the episode, when the characters saw people who were better than they were, they didn’t just back down, after crying about it, they were determined to be better. Don’t get me wrong, my parents always told me that I could be anything I wanted to be … I just never had the desire and passion to be anything. I've never strived to dream big. I was content to stay under the radar. I guess maybe I was afraid that I would fail, or my dreams would be too unrealistic. Like oh, I'm not good enough to make it so why set my heart up for failure. Maybe part of it is because nobody told me I could do it, I’m one to underestimate myself, and nobody’s told me I’m more than average, probably because I’m not – so my dreams will probably set me up for failure, my only talent is annoying my siblings (and others that happen to be blessed to have me in there life =P). Anyways, after talking to one of the techs during training my view is starting to change. He has big dreams for his future and at first I wanted to be like 'dude, you'll never make it' but why can't he? He's pretty awesome, has serious talent, and if it's in God's will then why not dream big? God gives us our desires for a reason, and maybe God's purpose for his life is in Hollywood.
And maybe God gave me the desires of my heart to dream big?
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
What's Happening?
Updates
A lot has happened, and I wrote the blogs so I wouldn’t forget but now that I’ve reread them I don’t want to post them. They sucked – actually my writing in generally sucks, but whatever.
Now where to begin???
Well my boss is a home wrecker. He split up my team, so now May is currently in the Midwest(ish area) and I’m still stuck in Cali. Traveling the same road. Back and forth, back and forth. Don’t get me wrong, Cali grew on me and I didn’t hate it as much as I thought I would, but I’m getting sick of it. :P I’ve seen Hollywood, climbed to the sign, sat in LA traffic, ate at the Sana Monica Pier, walked in the Pacific, owned San Francisco, took pictures on the Golden Gate Bridge, … there’s only so much more I can do. =P
Anyways, last week me and a newbie, Megan, headed up I-5 to do a week of shows. She was actually pretty good and Andrew was going to send her and May to Texas but she ended up making the decision to go home. Lucky for me my new partner is AWESOME!!! Rosita is a friend from back home who needed a job and so she was hired and flew out on Saturday. So Sunday after church I took her to the office and introduced her to frames, then we had our first show on Monday … 2 hours away. And we had to be there 2 hours before, we had to leave at 3:30am – crazy! Then we couldn’t find the janitor to let us in, so we went through the cafeteria – and Rosita is a fantastic tech. :D
Then today we had another show, only an hour away. So we got there a little early, couldn’t find ANYBODY, eventually after walking through an abandoned courtyard (btw schools are very sketch in the dark) we found a ‘janitor’ and he didn’t know anything! He wasn’t sure where the assembly was going to be, or where the kid would sit, or where the outlets were, or if we could tape on the floor. So we kind of just made it up. It went great, set up was beautiful and we still had time to spare. Except we had 6 shows. We watched the same program 6 times in a row. And I couldn’t go eat lunch so I got a headache. Lame.
Now we’re chilling at the Condo, I’m getting Rosita addicted to Veronica Mars and we’ll head back up I-5 again tomorrow.
A lot has happened, and I wrote the blogs so I wouldn’t forget but now that I’ve reread them I don’t want to post them. They sucked – actually my writing in generally sucks, but whatever.
Now where to begin???
Well my boss is a home wrecker. He split up my team, so now May is currently in the Midwest(ish area) and I’m still stuck in Cali. Traveling the same road. Back and forth, back and forth. Don’t get me wrong, Cali grew on me and I didn’t hate it as much as I thought I would, but I’m getting sick of it. :P I’ve seen Hollywood, climbed to the sign, sat in LA traffic, ate at the Sana Monica Pier, walked in the Pacific, owned San Francisco, took pictures on the Golden Gate Bridge, … there’s only so much more I can do. =P
Anyways, last week me and a newbie, Megan, headed up I-5 to do a week of shows. She was actually pretty good and Andrew was going to send her and May to Texas but she ended up making the decision to go home. Lucky for me my new partner is AWESOME!!! Rosita is a friend from back home who needed a job and so she was hired and flew out on Saturday. So Sunday after church I took her to the office and introduced her to frames, then we had our first show on Monday … 2 hours away. And we had to be there 2 hours before, we had to leave at 3:30am – crazy! Then we couldn’t find the janitor to let us in, so we went through the cafeteria – and Rosita is a fantastic tech. :D
Then today we had another show, only an hour away. So we got there a little early, couldn’t find ANYBODY, eventually after walking through an abandoned courtyard (btw schools are very sketch in the dark) we found a ‘janitor’ and he didn’t know anything! He wasn’t sure where the assembly was going to be, or where the kid would sit, or where the outlets were, or if we could tape on the floor. So we kind of just made it up. It went great, set up was beautiful and we still had time to spare. Except we had 6 shows. We watched the same program 6 times in a row. And I couldn’t go eat lunch so I got a headache. Lame.
Now we’re chilling at the Condo, I’m getting Rosita addicted to Veronica Mars and we’ll head back up I-5 again tomorrow.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Forgotten Loves
So for work I have to go into auditoriums, or gyms, or cafeterias, or a mixture of the three and set up for our show. Recently I’ve done some auditoriums and we’ve had some beautiful theaters. Every time I set foot on an empty stage I just want to stand in the middle and breathe, there’s nothing like a vacant stage. As I survey the absent audience I get a twinge in my heart and I realize how much I miss being up on stage. I love acting and I never realized how much I missed it.
In high school I was in the drama club and it was cool, but we only did competition at the beginning of the year, maybe a Christmas play and then we just sort of messed around, we never did a big production or anything. After I graduated I worked with the kids and youth in church and I wrote and acted in some small skits and puppet shows but nothing big. Then at Longwood I did some skits with BCM until everything got crazy and I didn’t have time to breathe let alone act. I just had too much going on, and didn’t really think about it. But now that I’m on that stage all the memories come back. The endless practices, memorizing lines, messing up, goofing off, funky costumes, set design, practice and more practice. Then opening night, a full house, blinded by the bright lights, and suddenly it’s not me anymore. Everybody’s staring at me but I’m completely lost in character and my nerves settle because there’s no room for my emotions. And for that block of time life is scripted, all I have to do is remember what comes next. I’m probably not describing this well but I love it. I can’t wait to get back into acting.
I’ve actually had to set up in a lot of cafegymatoriums. The last school I was in they had volleyball practice right after tear down. Another love that I had forgotten about. I love volleyball. I’m not sure which is greater volleyball or soccer but I love both and haven’t played either in forever. Anybody up for a game?
You’ll notice I have a lot of loves, sadly I’m not great at anything. I almost wish I sought out one thing and put all my energy into one goal. But I wouldn’t be able to choose just one, besides I think I’d get bored after a while, and it’s nice to come in from playing soccer with Annie to struggle through a song on the keyboard, I like variety. And I mean I’m not straight up awful (at everything), people would tell me I was good but I think it’s my passion that they see, not so much the quality – trust me I suck at life. =P
In high school I was in the drama club and it was cool, but we only did competition at the beginning of the year, maybe a Christmas play and then we just sort of messed around, we never did a big production or anything. After I graduated I worked with the kids and youth in church and I wrote and acted in some small skits and puppet shows but nothing big. Then at Longwood I did some skits with BCM until everything got crazy and I didn’t have time to breathe let alone act. I just had too much going on, and didn’t really think about it. But now that I’m on that stage all the memories come back. The endless practices, memorizing lines, messing up, goofing off, funky costumes, set design, practice and more practice. Then opening night, a full house, blinded by the bright lights, and suddenly it’s not me anymore. Everybody’s staring at me but I’m completely lost in character and my nerves settle because there’s no room for my emotions. And for that block of time life is scripted, all I have to do is remember what comes next. I’m probably not describing this well but I love it. I can’t wait to get back into acting.
I’ve actually had to set up in a lot of cafegymatoriums. The last school I was in they had volleyball practice right after tear down. Another love that I had forgotten about. I love volleyball. I’m not sure which is greater volleyball or soccer but I love both and haven’t played either in forever. Anybody up for a game?
You’ll notice I have a lot of loves, sadly I’m not great at anything. I almost wish I sought out one thing and put all my energy into one goal. But I wouldn’t be able to choose just one, besides I think I’d get bored after a while, and it’s nice to come in from playing soccer with Annie to struggle through a song on the keyboard, I like variety. And I mean I’m not straight up awful (at everything), people would tell me I was good but I think it’s my passion that they see, not so much the quality – trust me I suck at life. =P
Monday, September 5, 2011
It's a whole new kinda of missing you
So I knew leaving home would be hard. I just packed up my entire life in a suitcase and left everything I knew to go to LA, totally trusting God that this was where I was suppose to be. I knew it was going to suck to say goodbye and that I would go through some serious friend withdraws - but what I wasn't prepared for was missing the people I just met. I didn't expect to develop fast friendships with the other Camfel techs. The person I was going to be living with yeah, but not everybody. However I just spent two weeks training with an amazing group of people. Now as everybody is gone and everything is quite I realized how much they've come to mean to me. The girls are so flippin awesome, I am seriously blessed to have met them and call them friends. I've learned a lot from both the girls and the guys and I love hearing about their life and their current adventures. I can't wait to see what God has planned for them. And as much as I was ready to leave and be done with training all I really want to do right now is have a Disney night - with a snack party - and just sit around and play music (and by play I mean sing awfully as the musicians in the group actually play) - pretty much just chill with this awesome group of friends.
[insert group picture here]
[insert group picture here]
Sunday, August 28, 2011
"Goals are dreams with deadlines." ~Diana Scharf Hunt
Goals for the next 10 months
1. learn to play guitar
2. write like crazy
3. work on my tan
4. learn more about Jesus
- I had some others but I've already forgotten.
The first one is probably the one I'm most excited about. I've always wanted to learn how to play the guitar but nobody has been willing to teach me. Until now. My VanMate informed me that she loves teaching and I love learning - it's win win. So we bought our baby, Kali (Or Cali) and the learning has begun ... it's gonna take a while. :-D seriously my grin couldn't be bigger. I love playing music and my skills are limited. I taught myself to play the piano when I was like 10 and I still have yet to master the left hand and have to write the notes out, I can't just look at sheet music and know what to play. It's pitiful, I feel bad for my family that had/has to listen to my poor attempt at playing out a song. Hopefully guitar goes better. =P Most of the techs at Camfel can play an instrument and I was/am seriously jealous. I loved listening to whoever played in the lobby. Soon that will be me :)
The second goal is kinda on going since middle school. I love writing. (I think I've mentioned this before =P). And like everything else I'm not particularly good at it. Regardless I want to spend this time on the road writing. I know I'm not going to spell out a novel but just short stories or even blog post will suffice. I love crafting imagery and hopefully the more I write the better it will become.
Goal three is a little less realistic. Every summer I claim this will be the year of my tan. And every summer I fail. However, thanks to training I am slightly darker, you'll notice my hair-bow line and if you squint you can see a shorts and socks line. I was pretty excited. But I'll spend the rest of the summer in sunny California so hopefully I can get a little less pasty. However, I am tired of seeing new freckles.
Goal four is kind of a life sentence. I guess I just want to experience Him in a different way. I'm use to my small town church services and worshiping at BCM. Already God has opened my eyes to new things and I'm just really excited to go to different church services every Sunday. However I do miss my community of believers back home.
Of course my memory is seriously whack and I can't remember what else I wanted to do, but this seems like a satisfying list. If I ever remember I might add them to this list.
EDIT 9/22:
5. I'm suppose to be working on learning a British accent - I don't remember how this started but Wesley and Adam decided they were gonna learn an accent, and Wesley informed me that I too was going to learn a British accent. So far it's as crappy as ever.
1. learn to play guitar
2. write like crazy
3. work on my tan
4. learn more about Jesus
- I had some others but I've already forgotten.
The first one is probably the one I'm most excited about. I've always wanted to learn how to play the guitar but nobody has been willing to teach me. Until now. My VanMate informed me that she loves teaching and I love learning - it's win win. So we bought our baby, Kali (Or Cali) and the learning has begun ... it's gonna take a while. :-D seriously my grin couldn't be bigger. I love playing music and my skills are limited. I taught myself to play the piano when I was like 10 and I still have yet to master the left hand and have to write the notes out, I can't just look at sheet music and know what to play. It's pitiful, I feel bad for my family that had/has to listen to my poor attempt at playing out a song. Hopefully guitar goes better. =P Most of the techs at Camfel can play an instrument and I was/am seriously jealous. I loved listening to whoever played in the lobby. Soon that will be me :)
The second goal is kinda on going since middle school. I love writing. (I think I've mentioned this before =P). And like everything else I'm not particularly good at it. Regardless I want to spend this time on the road writing. I know I'm not going to spell out a novel but just short stories or even blog post will suffice. I love crafting imagery and hopefully the more I write the better it will become.
Goal three is a little less realistic. Every summer I claim this will be the year of my tan. And every summer I fail. However, thanks to training I am slightly darker, you'll notice my hair-bow line and if you squint you can see a shorts and socks line. I was pretty excited. But I'll spend the rest of the summer in sunny California so hopefully I can get a little less pasty. However, I am tired of seeing new freckles.
Goal four is kind of a life sentence. I guess I just want to experience Him in a different way. I'm use to my small town church services and worshiping at BCM. Already God has opened my eyes to new things and I'm just really excited to go to different church services every Sunday. However I do miss my community of believers back home.
Of course my memory is seriously whack and I can't remember what else I wanted to do, but this seems like a satisfying list. If I ever remember I might add them to this list.
EDIT 9/22:
5. I'm suppose to be working on learning a British accent - I don't remember how this started but Wesley and Adam decided they were gonna learn an accent, and Wesley informed me that I too was going to learn a British accent. So far it's as crappy as ever.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Busy but not Forgotten
Hey guys. So I know I haven't posted in forever. I've been busy. :P So this is gonna be a crappy update post just to fill you in on whats been going on. First off goodbyes suck! I don't think they'll ever get better. My first goodbye didn't even seem like I was leaving. It didn't sink in that I wouldn't be seeing her until Christmas. It wasn't until some of the last goodbyes that it really sunk it that I was leaving and I really wanted to cry - but I didn't. I seriously thought I would on the plane, especially after hugging my mom and she started to tear up. I guess staying up the entire night packing helped me sleep and not think about it. And saying bye to Tiffy almost had me. So I left ridiculously early in the morning and got to LAX Sunday afternoon. I didn't having anything to eat for about 24 hours and I got a terrible migraine. Terrible. So the first day here I spent sleeping. Well after a while I did get up and lay down in the lobby where some of the girls were chillin and we had a worship session- that was fun.
Then training began. This was nothing like I thought it would be. It was rough. I had sore muscles the entire first week I think. And I was exhausted. (not LU exhausted though) ... however I had a headache the entire week so that probably contributed to my tiredness. I can't ever remember how many nights I didn't even get ready for bed, I just fell asleep and woke up the next morning. It was rough. I know ya'all are probably wondering what exactly I'm doing but without seeing it I can't really describe it. I think somebody took pictures so I'll try to steal them from they're facebook later.
The girls are staying on LABI (latin american bible institute) campus. It's where we have training and they cook for us. For a picky eater the food choices has been terrible. Theres more food that I don't eat then that I do. But when they have chicken its great ... except they usually serve it with rice. :( However the girls are moving to the condo, which is where the guys have been staying. Training is over and most of us (if we haven't left already) ship out next week.
I leave Thursday, me and my lovely VanMate, May, are gonna be touring Northern Cali. And probably cross into Oregon and Nevada. It's suppose to be pretty and tons of fun so it should be great. It's gonna suck to say goodbye to everybody. ... well it already sucks. The first few east coast vans have shipped out. It's lame. We've just spent these two weeks bonding and now we have to peace out. I love the girls and we have a good time and I don't want to say bye, and the guys are awesome and really funny, yeah this is gonna suck.
Oh I did get to go to Hollywood!!!! It wasn't that great, but I still had a blast. We walked up a bit of Hollywood Boulevard and went to this cool vintage store. We ate at a NY pizza place, which was alright then walked to this music store. Alice and me had an awesome time going through crappy cds to find the worse one. I forgot what she ended up getting but they were just awful. Then we decided to go to the beach so we piled back into the vans and then we found the cool part of Hollywood, too late of course. And our van didn't even make it to the beach because we got separated. However the next day after church we went to the Sana Monica Pier and I was able to see the Pacific. Sunday was lots of fun we walked the Pier which was alright, and I went to the Oasis Church. The actual pastor wasn't there but the guest speaker was pretty cool. The part I liked was when he talked about basking in God's love. How so much of our thoughts are centered on how we mess up and how unworthy we are that we fail to just let God love us. I know that a lot of my time is spent on the negative aspects and how God still has a lot of work to do in my life to truly be a reflection of Jesus. I don't spend a lot of time just allowing God to love me. Then Sunday night I went to the Free Chapel in OC because the pastor was suppose to be amazing - but he was on vacation. But the guest speaker was awesome. He talked about the Dream Center and told life stories about the lives changed there. He preached about God using the lowest points in our life, when our dreams are crushed and we just want to give up, it's in these low seasons that God propels us forward and because of these struggles we will be stronger. I was just reminded that God does have a perfect plan and He excepts me to submit all my dreams and desires to Him and trust in His amazingly crafted purpose for my life. It's a nice and rather scary reminder.
Ok so that's an update to my life. Hopefully when I'm on the road I'll have more internetz and be able to post more blogs.
Then training began. This was nothing like I thought it would be. It was rough. I had sore muscles the entire first week I think. And I was exhausted. (not LU exhausted though) ... however I had a headache the entire week so that probably contributed to my tiredness. I can't ever remember how many nights I didn't even get ready for bed, I just fell asleep and woke up the next morning. It was rough. I know ya'all are probably wondering what exactly I'm doing but without seeing it I can't really describe it. I think somebody took pictures so I'll try to steal them from they're facebook later.
The girls are staying on LABI (latin american bible institute) campus. It's where we have training and they cook for us. For a picky eater the food choices has been terrible. Theres more food that I don't eat then that I do. But when they have chicken its great ... except they usually serve it with rice. :( However the girls are moving to the condo, which is where the guys have been staying. Training is over and most of us (if we haven't left already) ship out next week.
I leave Thursday, me and my lovely VanMate, May, are gonna be touring Northern Cali. And probably cross into Oregon and Nevada. It's suppose to be pretty and tons of fun so it should be great. It's gonna suck to say goodbye to everybody. ... well it already sucks. The first few east coast vans have shipped out. It's lame. We've just spent these two weeks bonding and now we have to peace out. I love the girls and we have a good time and I don't want to say bye, and the guys are awesome and really funny, yeah this is gonna suck.
Oh I did get to go to Hollywood!!!! It wasn't that great, but I still had a blast. We walked up a bit of Hollywood Boulevard and went to this cool vintage store. We ate at a NY pizza place, which was alright then walked to this music store. Alice and me had an awesome time going through crappy cds to find the worse one. I forgot what she ended up getting but they were just awful. Then we decided to go to the beach so we piled back into the vans and then we found the cool part of Hollywood, too late of course. And our van didn't even make it to the beach because we got separated. However the next day after church we went to the Sana Monica Pier and I was able to see the Pacific. Sunday was lots of fun we walked the Pier which was alright, and I went to the Oasis Church. The actual pastor wasn't there but the guest speaker was pretty cool. The part I liked was when he talked about basking in God's love. How so much of our thoughts are centered on how we mess up and how unworthy we are that we fail to just let God love us. I know that a lot of my time is spent on the negative aspects and how God still has a lot of work to do in my life to truly be a reflection of Jesus. I don't spend a lot of time just allowing God to love me. Then Sunday night I went to the Free Chapel in OC because the pastor was suppose to be amazing - but he was on vacation. But the guest speaker was awesome. He talked about the Dream Center and told life stories about the lives changed there. He preached about God using the lowest points in our life, when our dreams are crushed and we just want to give up, it's in these low seasons that God propels us forward and because of these struggles we will be stronger. I was just reminded that God does have a perfect plan and He excepts me to submit all my dreams and desires to Him and trust in His amazingly crafted purpose for my life. It's a nice and rather scary reminder.
Ok so that's an update to my life. Hopefully when I'm on the road I'll have more internetz and be able to post more blogs.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
New Beginnings : Old Doubts
It’s a weird feeling to be excited and melancholy at the same time. I didn’t want this job, was even refusing to apply. Tiffany convinced me I should at least fill it out, stating that I might not get the job and I don’t have to accept the offer if I don’t want to. But how can you say no to such an opportunity? I grudgingly, hastily filled out the application. I thought my answers were sloppy, and off the mark, I was like, hey if I’m suppose to get the job then I will, my answers don’t really matter. Honestly, I hoped that I wouldn’t get the job, I was even prepared for the rejection email (and the justification of my speeding ticket to be the reason, certainly not an internal attribute). So it became clear that this is what God wanted me to do. I was rather bummed. This has nothing to do with my major, my qualifications, or even something I want to do. However an adventure is an adventure, and if this is what God wants then this is what I’m doing. Slowly I began to warm up to the idea and I’m almost to the point where I’m looking forward to going. :-P
So in two weeks I’ll board a plane to take me across the country (literally) where I’ll spend 2 weeks in LA and then travel across the U.S – and get paid to do so. Pretty awesome once in a lifetime opportunity right? However, I’ve been exposed to all the downsides of this arrangement. For 10 months I’ll be away from my family and friends. I’ll be in a hotel room creeping on facebook about the all the fun times
they’re having together. For 10 months I won’t have a ‘home’ I’ll be shuffled from one hotel to the next (I’ve definitely lost the appeal of hotels) for 10 months I wont experience home cooking. For 10 months I wont sleep in my own bed. For 10 months I’ll be on the road. I’ll be spending 10 months with the some person I don’t know, no breaks!
So yeah on the outside it looks pretty amazing, I’ll get to travel all over, and it is cool – but you don’t have to pack your stuff up every morning and spend hours on the road.
So I’m deciding to look on the bright side from now on. In two weeks I’ll leave everybody behind – I mean – in two weeks I’ll board a plane to take me to LA and I’ll meet a bunch of amazing people who are about to embark on they’re own 10 month journey. In two weeks I’ll meet my future roomie/copilot who I will experience America with. In two weeks I will develop skills as a techie. I will spend 10 months with an awesome woman of God. I will spend 10 months meeting tons of new people and new connections and learn their stories. For 10 month I will learn more about myself and about life. For 10 months I will have countless adventures.
Just realized – 2 WEEKS!!!! =O
So in two weeks I’ll board a plane to take me across the country (literally) where I’ll spend 2 weeks in LA and then travel across the U.S – and get paid to do so. Pretty awesome once in a lifetime opportunity right? However, I’ve been exposed to all the downsides of this arrangement. For 10 months I’ll be away from my family and friends. I’ll be in a hotel room creeping on facebook about the all the fun times
they’re having together. For 10 months I won’t have a ‘home’ I’ll be shuffled from one hotel to the next (I’ve definitely lost the appeal of hotels) for 10 months I wont experience home cooking. For 10 months I wont sleep in my own bed. For 10 months I’ll be on the road. I’ll be spending 10 months with the some person I don’t know, no breaks!
So yeah on the outside it looks pretty amazing, I’ll get to travel all over, and it is cool – but you don’t have to pack your stuff up every morning and spend hours on the road.
So I’m deciding to look on the bright side from now on. In two weeks I’ll leave everybody behind – I mean – in two weeks I’ll board a plane to take me to LA and I’ll meet a bunch of amazing people who are about to embark on they’re own 10 month journey. In two weeks I’ll meet my future roomie/copilot who I will experience America with. In two weeks I will develop skills as a techie. I will spend 10 months with an awesome woman of God. I will spend 10 months meeting tons of new people and new connections and learn their stories. For 10 month I will learn more about myself and about life. For 10 months I will have countless adventures.
Just realized – 2 WEEKS!!!! =O
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Lost in Fiction
What to write – what to write???
Once again, the topics are plentiful but the focus is minimal.
...Hmm lets go with my reading list =D If you don’t know already I am addicted to reading. Another quality I picked up from my dad – I mean mom reads too but she’s one of those ‘read a few pages before bed’ types. Not the ‘gladly give up sleep to read just one more chapter’ type. Like the rest of my sisters, I am an obsessive reader. Some how the boys missed out on the whole book experience – I mean the littlest brother occasionally reads, but he’s not obsessed. Funny how that worked out.
Quite literally, I grew up at the library. Ever since I can remember I’ve had a Library card (however my memory is ridiculously bad, I’m sure they didn’t let a 3 year old have a library card, but if they did I owned it). I can’t really remember going to the library when I was little (expect this one story hour episode that’s very vague and blurry) but I’ve heard the stories and spent much of my childhood picking out books. We had to do a project for school and I had to ask my mom some childhood questions, one of which was how did I learn to read. Mom’s response ‘learn? I don’t know; you’ve always known how to read.” As much as I’d like to believe I came out of the womb reading, I find this highly illogical. But my librarian watched me grow up – well grow into a thirteen year old at least. She knew my card by heart and would always point out books she thought I might like to read. I quite literally read the entire kids section and the juvenile section and was about to tackle the young adult books when I moved. The small library was just that,
small. But it was great, I never had a late fee (because they loved me and knew they would never see it) even when I found a book that was about 5 years over due.
My mom’s punishment when I didn’t do whatever it was I was assigned to do was to take away my current book. So not fair, especially when it was a harry potter book, pure torture. I don’t know what it is about books, but I can’t get enough of them. Maybe the way words occupy every thought, your whole mind is wrapped up in the journey of the characters and it’s like you’re on the adventure with them. Or maybe it’s that it puts you into the mind of a person who is experiencing something you will never have the opportunity to know. Hmm… what do you think it is that makes stories so alluring? I mean, even little kids beg for a bed time story, is it something we’re taught or it is an element in our nature?
Anyways, now that I’ve turned 21 I’ve grown out of my reading addiction. Just kidding. It’s only gotten worse.
She begged, and begged, and begged to go. And now the reality of the dream was seeping in. She threw on her coat and shoes and waited in the yard. Her book bag was packed full and she hardly noticed the intense weight. The heavy door slammed shut behind her announcing her sisters presence, ‘ready to go?’ She did this hop jump skip thing, “ready!” Her sister rolled her eyes at her excitement as she all but sprinted toward the road. The hike wasn’t far but some times it felt like forever. She always hated passing the abandoned house with the crooked sidewalk, and broken streetlight, but it was a necessity if she was to reach her destination. Luckily, the house was the last stretch and she was allowed to run past it and up to the door. She pulled the heavy door open and raced inside, the sweet musty smell of old books hit her and she knew she was home. She stood in front and stared up at the collection of tales. Excited about the new journey that lay within reach of her fingertips.
She pulled adventure after adventure of the shelf and piled them high on the floor. Then she took her carefully selected collection over to the checkout desk.
“Woah, that’s a lot of books?”
She looked at the relatively large stack and shrugged, “nothing more then usual”
“I don’t know, some of these books are pretty thick, you think you can read all these in two weeks?”
“Girl please, this aint nothing. I’ll probably be back before they’re due.” She took the loaned worlds and shoved them in the now empty backpack, but left one out. She dropped the bag to the floor and settled into the big chair, eager to escape into a new mystery, a new adventure. The six year old slowly opened the cover and slipped away….
(p.s. this wasn't where I thought this post would go but eh it works :)
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Wavering Decisions
I’m still unsure about this whole blog thing. I mean I like reading other peoples blogs and would love to demand that others post blogs, but I dunno about my blog. Probably goes back to the whole privacy issue I seem to have. I don’t like people reading what I write, not because I don’t think it’s decent but because I think they think it’s crap but won’t tell me. Also that they’ll judge me.
I was looking over my old blog that I started at JTCC it was fairly decent. I don’t think anybody read it but me and I liked it that way, besides I had a different name, I could write whatever I wanted and nobody knew it was me. I might go back to
that way of blog life, so if my blog suddenly disappears you’ll know why.
This would also avoid the whole ‘what! you didn’t tell me that!!’ fiasco that I always get in trouble with. Instead of ‘I thought my mom told you’ it’ll be ‘I thought you read my blog’ which is one of the reasons I don’t advertise that I have a blog.
Actually, that’s just an excuse as to why I don’t advertise that I have a blog, I’m not sure why I don’t tell people. Probably just my privacy thing. :-P
But I do love writing. I have an expansive collection of topics. So for now I will leave it how it is and attempt to regularly update this joker ... be we shall see.
I was looking over my old blog that I started at JTCC it was fairly decent. I don’t think anybody read it but me and I liked it that way, besides I had a different name, I could write whatever I wanted and nobody knew it was me. I might go back to
that way of blog life, so if my blog suddenly disappears you’ll know why.
This would also avoid the whole ‘what! you didn’t tell me that!!’ fiasco that I always get in trouble with. Instead of ‘I thought my mom told you’ it’ll be ‘I thought you read my blog’ which is one of the reasons I don’t advertise that I have a blog.
Actually, that’s just an excuse as to why I don’t advertise that I have a blog, I’m not sure why I don’t tell people. Probably just my privacy thing. :-P
But I do love writing. I have an expansive collection of topics. So for now I will leave it how it is and attempt to regularly update this joker ... be we shall see.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Just Like my Dad
Happy Fathers Day
I know I’m early but the chances of me remembering to post this are very slim.
I love my dad. I can’t say he’s the best dad ever, but he’s definitely one of my favorites. I think I’m a lot like him. Which is funny because I use to claim we were nothing alike! I often wonder what he was like before he met my mom, before 11 kids got to him, before he got old. Did he always act like this, or was it the years that molded him into who he is now? Was he the same type of dad to my older sisters? Or was he more protective? Was he more or less stern? More fun? I guess we all wonder what our parents were like before they were parents.
My dad is pretty difficult to describe. He doesn’t talk much, but when he does it’s usually something funny or rude, maybe you’ll get an answer to a question. If he doesn’t want to agree to something he won’t answer.
Example : Me: Hey Dad, can I use your car to go to Vegas and attempt to increase your retirement fund or at least buy enough booze to get some rich sucker to secure my future with a signed marriage license?
Dad: …. [breathes deeply]
Me: Is that a yes?
Dad: errgh
Me: Sounds like a yes to me. Where are the key’s?
Dad: uggghhh – how long you think you’ll be gone?
If he doesn’t have an opinion he refuses to decide.
Example:
Me: What do you want for dinner, subs or burgers ?
Dad: yeah.
Me: what do you want on your burger?
Dad: sure.
Me: ketchup? musterd? pickles? Chocolate syrup?
Dad: whatever.
Me: what movie do you want to watch?
Dad: whatever
Me: which one [hands him a chick flick, an animated, a superhero, a endoftheworld, and a cops and robbers movie]
Dad: just put one it [hands me the top one without looking]
Me: [puts in the little mermaid]
He usually responds in grunts and vowels. My sister, Jenn, and I think he’s a pirate caveman. He watches Jeopardy but doesn’t shout out the answers … unless it’s a hard or ‘interesting’ question and he likes to show off. He can fix any car … well he can tell you what’s wrong with it at least and then decide whether or not he wants to fix it. He gives some great hugs. He loves my mom and puts up with all her crazys. He is a horrible procrastinator, and he covers it well – he’ll work on other stuff that needs to be done but really he’s just pushing off whatever it is he doesn’t want to do. He doesn’t sing along to the radio, but you know he’s listening because he turns the station when an annoying song comes on. He has road rage but doesn’t verbalize it. He hates the city. He turns a different race in the summer. He’s learned that kids need to make their own mistakes. He’s a Chevy man. He can dance, but only when his wife makes him. He likes the clean air of silence. He doesn’t usually offer up information without being asked. He’s impatient. He loves his kids, and grandkids. Some things can’t be expressed in words. I mean how can I convey the awesomeness that is him. He grills these perfect burgers that can’t be duplicated because he never remembers exactly what he put on them. He has these wordless conversations, you know what he wants to say but he doesn’t want to say it because it’s not what you want to hear so he refuses to answer hoping that the issue will be dropped. He drives with the windows rolled down and a cigarette in this mouth, one hand on the wheel. He’s addicted to coffee and gets offended when you wash his mug, claiming you just washed away the flavor. He’s perfected the art of oooing and ahhing over a scribbled coloring book. He reads anything he picks up, including Harry Potter, and finishes it in record timing. He pulls out loose teeth now matter how squirmy the kid is. He treats my friends like their his own – even if he’s just met them. And he’ll always have you’re back. See this still pales in comparison ...
He stood behind a towheaded shrimp, barely tall enough to reach the stove; a griddle stretched between the burners with two gooey saucer sized puddles cooking. “No not yet, you have to wait until a lot of bubbles start popping up before you can flip it. That’s how you know it’s done.”
The thick nightgown clung to the soggy little girl. She stood in front of his chair with her head flipped over and her hair hanging in her face. The man took the towel and started scrubbing her head. She stood close to the wood stove, absorbing the heat as the towel soaked up all the water.
It was still dark outside when the sleepy blonde slowly climbed down the stairs. She drudgingly dragged her tired body to the chair where her clothes were laid out the night before. “Daddy, can you help me?” She starts to pull of her nighty but it gets stuck on her head and arms, swiftly he rescues her flailing limbs. His rough hands curl up the stockings so she can slip her feet in and pull them up. The dress falls perfectly over her head and his bulky hands fasten the tiny buttons.
The old man comes through the door and drops the blue lunch pail on the shelf. He slowly crosses to his chair, sinks into the worn cushions, and releases his tired feet from their personal prisons and leans back. He doesn’t even remember closing his eyes but seconds later a deep snore rings threw the living room.
Impatiently she stands by the counter. Frustration is clearly written across her face. He watches her stomp back to her room. The sound of the clock hangs in the air. An older version of the girl hustles in the kitchen and grabs a stack of papers and a coffee cup. He hears the thundering steps of the annoyed blonde. She attempts to escape out the door but he blocks her path and wraps her in a hug.
Nope, snap shots don’t work either. I guess you’ll never know. But he’s pretty fantastic. I love you Dad.
I know I’m early but the chances of me remembering to post this are very slim.
I love my dad. I can’t say he’s the best dad ever, but he’s definitely one of my favorites. I think I’m a lot like him. Which is funny because I use to claim we were nothing alike! I often wonder what he was like before he met my mom, before 11 kids got to him, before he got old. Did he always act like this, or was it the years that molded him into who he is now? Was he the same type of dad to my older sisters? Or was he more protective? Was he more or less stern? More fun? I guess we all wonder what our parents were like before they were parents.
My dad is pretty difficult to describe. He doesn’t talk much, but when he does it’s usually something funny or rude, maybe you’ll get an answer to a question. If he doesn’t want to agree to something he won’t answer.
Example : Me: Hey Dad, can I use your car to go to Vegas and attempt to increase your retirement fund or at least buy enough booze to get some rich sucker to secure my future with a signed marriage license?
Dad: …. [breathes deeply]
Me: Is that a yes?
Dad: errgh
Me: Sounds like a yes to me. Where are the key’s?
Dad: uggghhh – how long you think you’ll be gone?
If he doesn’t have an opinion he refuses to decide.
Example:
Me: What do you want for dinner, subs or burgers ?
Dad: yeah.
Me: what do you want on your burger?
Dad: sure.
Me: ketchup? musterd? pickles? Chocolate syrup?
Dad: whatever.
Me: what movie do you want to watch?
Dad: whatever
Me: which one [hands him a chick flick, an animated, a superhero, a endoftheworld, and a cops and robbers movie]
Dad: just put one it [hands me the top one without looking]
Me: [puts in the little mermaid]
He usually responds in grunts and vowels. My sister, Jenn, and I think he’s a pirate caveman. He watches Jeopardy but doesn’t shout out the answers … unless it’s a hard or ‘interesting’ question and he likes to show off. He can fix any car … well he can tell you what’s wrong with it at least and then decide whether or not he wants to fix it. He gives some great hugs. He loves my mom and puts up with all her crazys. He is a horrible procrastinator, and he covers it well – he’ll work on other stuff that needs to be done but really he’s just pushing off whatever it is he doesn’t want to do. He doesn’t sing along to the radio, but you know he’s listening because he turns the station when an annoying song comes on. He has road rage but doesn’t verbalize it. He hates the city. He turns a different race in the summer. He’s learned that kids need to make their own mistakes. He’s a Chevy man. He can dance, but only when his wife makes him. He likes the clean air of silence. He doesn’t usually offer up information without being asked. He’s impatient. He loves his kids, and grandkids. Some things can’t be expressed in words. I mean how can I convey the awesomeness that is him. He grills these perfect burgers that can’t be duplicated because he never remembers exactly what he put on them. He has these wordless conversations, you know what he wants to say but he doesn’t want to say it because it’s not what you want to hear so he refuses to answer hoping that the issue will be dropped. He drives with the windows rolled down and a cigarette in this mouth, one hand on the wheel. He’s addicted to coffee and gets offended when you wash his mug, claiming you just washed away the flavor. He’s perfected the art of oooing and ahhing over a scribbled coloring book. He reads anything he picks up, including Harry Potter, and finishes it in record timing. He pulls out loose teeth now matter how squirmy the kid is. He treats my friends like their his own – even if he’s just met them. And he’ll always have you’re back. See this still pales in comparison ...
He stood behind a towheaded shrimp, barely tall enough to reach the stove; a griddle stretched between the burners with two gooey saucer sized puddles cooking. “No not yet, you have to wait until a lot of bubbles start popping up before you can flip it. That’s how you know it’s done.”
The thick nightgown clung to the soggy little girl. She stood in front of his chair with her head flipped over and her hair hanging in her face. The man took the towel and started scrubbing her head. She stood close to the wood stove, absorbing the heat as the towel soaked up all the water.
It was still dark outside when the sleepy blonde slowly climbed down the stairs. She drudgingly dragged her tired body to the chair where her clothes were laid out the night before. “Daddy, can you help me?” She starts to pull of her nighty but it gets stuck on her head and arms, swiftly he rescues her flailing limbs. His rough hands curl up the stockings so she can slip her feet in and pull them up. The dress falls perfectly over her head and his bulky hands fasten the tiny buttons.
The old man comes through the door and drops the blue lunch pail on the shelf. He slowly crosses to his chair, sinks into the worn cushions, and releases his tired feet from their personal prisons and leans back. He doesn’t even remember closing his eyes but seconds later a deep snore rings threw the living room.
Impatiently she stands by the counter. Frustration is clearly written across her face. He watches her stomp back to her room. The sound of the clock hangs in the air. An older version of the girl hustles in the kitchen and grabs a stack of papers and a coffee cup. He hears the thundering steps of the annoyed blonde. She attempts to escape out the door but he blocks her path and wraps her in a hug.
Nope, snap shots don’t work either. I guess you’ll never know. But he’s pretty fantastic. I love you Dad.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Tales of the Traveling Miscreant
I hate this job. I am currently working as an independent merchandiser. I’ve been around merchandising since I was like 10 or 11, I can remember working on some lame reset since on my 12th birthday. Mom has forcibly dragged me to stores to help since she’s started this mess. When I turned 18 I was officially hired on and actually got a pay check. I still didn’t like it, but I liked the money so I didn’t mind working. But now that I have my degree I hate it. Not so much the work it’s self – ok yeah the work too – but just the being gone all the time and probably being stuck with my mom 24/7. Don’t get me wrong I LOVE my mom, but being in the same room for such a long period of time kinda drives me insane. I’m not sure why but I get so frustrated and grumpy. It’s awful.
For those of you who don’t know what merchandising is, I basically go into different stores and do different things. Mostly resets. Recently I’ve been in Staples helping with complete remodels, Martins messing up the cookie and cracker resets, and pet smarts with the cat and dog food (killer). So I go in a store mess up the set and then put it back how it’s suppose to go. It just depends on what I’m doing that week because I could be just auditing a store or putting up a display.
It’s not the traveling that I hate, because I love to travel. I think it’s more that I want to do something that means something – to me merchandising doesn’t matter. I want a job that I’m passionate about. I’ve been trying to be patient … some days are better then others. A lot of days I question my psych degree. I question my ability. I question my sanity. I know that God has it all planned out, that I was meant to study psychology and I will be great at whatever He has planned for me, and He will put me in the field He wants me and I just have to trust Him. I think I have a problem with trust.
Thankfully I shouldn’t be doing much merchandising for a while so I can focus on finding something I want to do, not just something that is available and pays.
Firewall
So apparently, I’m a pretty private person. I’ve never considered myself a secret keeper – ok I have, but not my own. I thought my face was an open book and I’d gladly give my opinion. But I have been informed that I am indeed tight lipped about everything, unless the information is requested. I’m not sure why this is so.
I have a few guesses…
Reasons I Don’t Speak :
- I assume my mom has already told you.
- I assume you’ve over heard my mom tell somebody else. Multiple times.
- I forget who I tell what, so in an attempt to save you from having to hear the story twice and awkwardly [insert emotion] again I just don’t.
- I am a terrible storyteller unless I’m reading from a book. (no really I suck at it, my retellings are filled with flat affect in an attempt to discover the listeners true emotions about whatever it is I’m telling without me leading them from my own perspective – also I’m forgetful and distracted easily so my stories are filled with uhhs and umms. It’s awful.)
- I guess I’m an in the moment kinda person. In English class, we would always start a conversation and I would have a good point but I’ve been trained to not interrupt or cut people off, however the next person would always change the subject so I’d never get to say my awesome point. If the moment/topic passes I’m not bringing it back up until it’s back. If something isn’t bothering me anymore I’ve forgotten about it – and I get over stuff pretty quickly – if I’m not laughing anymore I’ve forgotten about it (but I’ll usually relaugh at it later and then you’ll hear my lame story of why I’m laughing and you wont find it funny at all).
- If I’m excited about something it’s usually not as cool as I think it is so other people fail to achieve the level of my excitement and they just ruin it for me – so I stay super excited on the inside and save all this excited energy so nobody can steal it from me.
- usually who ever I’m talking to has something more interesting then whatever it is I have to say so I’d rather listen to them.
- I tend to get ignored when I speak so in order to avoid the pain of being rejected I just stand to the side and let others fill the silence – unless it truly is silent then I’ll tell you a lame story that I happen to be thinking about and then it gets awkward .
- I don’t like to gossip, especially about other people. I’ve noticed the way I look at people changes after somebody as told me something about them. I don’t mean to judge, and I don’t love them any less but my opinion is forever altered. I don’t want other people to base their opinions off of mine so I hold my words. If they ask it then I’ll give it – or if something just happened that made me angry I usually can’t hold it in.
- I hate being judged for stuff I say – especially because most of what I say can only be applied to that exact moment. I constantly change some of my opinions and can see both view points (most of the time).
- I hate being repeated. (see above) I think this stems from hearing my mom repeat events and quote people and mess it all up, so when people tell my version it’s not how I meant it at all. Also, when I play translator I always misconstrue whatever it is they say, it’s fun.
- I hate being over heard – (see above) I say stupid stuff all the time and don’t even remember saying it, and I’m sarcastic. Yet strangers don’t know that so they can pull all the wrong conclusions from my mouth.
- I find myself very annoying, so to save people from my annoyance I avoid subjecting them to my words.
- I don’t find my own life interesting. I figure you don’t want to hear about it.
I’m not exactly sure why I don’t openly share stuff. I dunno know if I’ve always been like this or if I changed at one point. Chances are the answers are in my childhood, they always are – which I’ve forgotten- I wonder if that’s why all my teachers were worried about me? I’m guessing it developed as some form of defense mechanism – ‘if you don’t know then you can’t hurt me’ – or it’s genetic. None of my family really tells me anything, but is it because they are private or because I am?
Whatever the case if it seems like I’m keeping something from you (you being the general audience, not specifically the one person that reads this blog) it’s not because I don’t want to tell you it’s because it doesn’t occur to me that you’d want to know. I’m pretty open about anything you want me to tell you, you just have to ask – with just you in the room.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
“The three great elemental sounds in nature are the sound of rain, the sound of wind in a primeval wood, and the sound of outer ocean on a beach” -He
I miss the beach.
This past weekend was one of my bff's bachelorette party. Instead of doing the whole clubbing, wasted thing the night before we decided to go to the beach for a weekend. Fantastic idea. We rented a house and drove down saturday and chilled and played games, walked the beach, ran our mouths, spotlighted crabs, and got drenched in the rain. Then Saturday we got up and started a glee marathon, then walked to the shore to slum it at the beach. It was great just chillin with our butts in the sand and being tossed around in the freezing cold ocean. Then finishing our glee marathon and eating pizza and talking and laughing and just being together. We missed the Ashley's of course but other than their absence it was a perfect weekend. (side note, I went to the beach and did not come back as a lobster - this was a first!)
I'm sad that this was it. That was our last horrah before we are officially grown. Steph will be married in 2 freakin weeks!!!! Rosita will be in DC, 3 freakin hours away!!! and we'll all start going our own ways. I know high school I was overly optimistic about keeping in touch with friend, now I feel overly pessimistic. I can see everybody drifting apart and just sticking to phone calls on our birthdays. Even though I know this isn't really gonna happen I can see it happening so that makes me paranoid.
However as endings go, this is a very fantastic series finale. We have the graduation, the vacation, and the wedding - all we need is a baby and we have our selves a hit drama. However I'm quite sure this is one of those shows that say it's ending but the ratings are so awesome they have to make at least one more season - so really this is just a seasons finale disguised as a series finale - looks like I still have some hope left after all. Which is good because I suck at goodbyes.
This past weekend was one of my bff's bachelorette party. Instead of doing the whole clubbing, wasted thing the night before we decided to go to the beach for a weekend. Fantastic idea. We rented a house and drove down saturday and chilled and played games, walked the beach, ran our mouths, spotlighted crabs, and got drenched in the rain. Then Saturday we got up and started a glee marathon, then walked to the shore to slum it at the beach. It was great just chillin with our butts in the sand and being tossed around in the freezing cold ocean. Then finishing our glee marathon and eating pizza and talking and laughing and just being together. We missed the Ashley's of course but other than their absence it was a perfect weekend. (side note, I went to the beach and did not come back as a lobster - this was a first!)
I'm sad that this was it. That was our last horrah before we are officially grown. Steph will be married in 2 freakin weeks!!!! Rosita will be in DC, 3 freakin hours away!!! and we'll all start going our own ways. I know high school I was overly optimistic about keeping in touch with friend, now I feel overly pessimistic. I can see everybody drifting apart and just sticking to phone calls on our birthdays. Even though I know this isn't really gonna happen I can see it happening so that makes me paranoid.
However as endings go, this is a very fantastic series finale. We have the graduation, the vacation, and the wedding - all we need is a baby and we have our selves a hit drama. However I'm quite sure this is one of those shows that say it's ending but the ratings are so awesome they have to make at least one more season - so really this is just a seasons finale disguised as a series finale - looks like I still have some hope left after all. Which is good because I suck at goodbyes.
Monday, May 16, 2011
come what May ......14th
Yeah, I suck as this updating blog thing. But seeing as there is only one reader I’m not to worried about it =) Love you Jess.
So I’ve graduated. I don’t think I feel the same way as most graduates, finishing a semester early I’ve already experiences that intense relief. The amazingness of being home has worn off and I’m mostly recovered from that last rigorous semester. I’ve already said goodbye to exams, papers, textbooks, working at Merks, and all the things graduates wanna leave. I’ve all ready experienced real life and it sucks, this was mostly sad. I’ve spent so many lovely weekends at Longwood this past year and now it’s all over. My friends will never be gathered together in a tight community like college throws you into. We’ll be hours away and I don’t like it. Yup, I’m just sad. I wont ever experience anything like Longwood again, and I feel like I slept through it … well more like worked through it (I didn’t get much sleep =P). I’m pretty bummed.
But I’m excited for what comes next. These last adventures have been amazing and it can only get better … right?? I mean I’m not naive, I know their will still be stress and anxiety and pain and tears, but there will always be friends there to cheer you up, to laugh with you, to cry with you, to cook up some new scheme with. I know it’s impossible to keep in touch with all of the people I currently call friends, but some are impossible to get rid of. Either way I’ll always call them friends and they are forever ingrained in my memories of Longwood. I don’t know what’s up ahead but I can’t wait to find out.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Last walk of Longwood
Late again. I think I’ve learned this annoying habit from my mom, one that has to be broken soon. So instead of leisurely walking to Willet I quickly threw on my attire and rushed across the grounds of Hogwarts, I truly felt like I was in a magical world with my robe flying open and excitement of a new adventure just beginning. My favorite part of the entire experience was praying with a best friend, Ashley. As like-minded graduates rushed by, we stepped aside to talk to God, to thank Him for getting us to this day. We stood by the prominent clock on Brock Commons and talked to the creator of the universe about our fears, excitement, and trusting that He has it under control, He already knows our life story and it ends happily, now that’s magical. Anxiously, we strutted into the gym, found our place amongst the black blurs of tangled emotions, and waited for the procession to begin. The crowd of graduates started to line up and stride off the bleachers. The methodical stomps hung through the air like an army of soldiers decked out in red were marching towards the front line. Only we were dressed in black and happily marching towards a future filled with hope and optimism. We twisted together in a zigzag line of look-a-likes preparing to take the much-anticipated walk. Then we strutted down a sidewalk we have walked many times before only instead of walking towards class, or lunch, or the library, we walked into a crowd of adoring fans each searching for their loved one. Like so many before us we marched for the last time as undergraduates towards an unknown future. We listened to speeches that reminded us why we loved Longwood, why we were sad to walk away, why we were happy to be going, we looked back on fond memories and were told to never forget – but who could? Then the time came. We stood and waited for our names to ring across the lawn, for our friends and family to scream in adoration as we screamed for our fellow classmates that ran across the stage. Finally, it was our turn. We lined up beside the stage getting closer and closer for that moment when the name caller said our name wrong but still we proudly stepped up with a smile on our face and took the fake me out diploma that signaled the end. We smiled at our professors knowing that we passed their rigorous tests and knew that we earned this sucker. We texted our friends confirming that we did it and it was time to wrap this mess up for we were starving. We stood and marched into the arms of those we loved and happily smiled for the photos, all the time wondering ok now what?
Sunday, April 17, 2011
words, words, words
I love words, I can't spell to save my life and I usually butcher the pronunciation - but I like the vast amount of words - how each word is individual, each with it's own meaning and I like how some words form in the mouth and they're just fun to spit out. I like putting words together to form a sentence that speaks volumes. Sadly that's all I'm good at writing, individual sentences. Can't put them together and any editor/English freak would hate me but sometimes I crank out a good facebook status. :-)
No matter how much I love words, I definitely need to learn to filter my mouth. I constantly suffer from foot in mouth syndrome, often not realizing I've had an episode until hours or days, or weeks later. I especially fail to think when I'm excited or happy, it's like my brain shuts down and stupid remarks fall out without being processed. Even worse my memory is horrible so I often don't remember what I said - so when somebody makes an offhanded remark about what I said 'I'm like, woah my words are powerful enough to be noted' and 'crap I totally didn't mean it like that'. I'm sarcastic and opinionated and blunt. My hurtful remarks have diminished considerably but I still need to watch my words and actions, I don't want somebody to be hurt when I didn't mean it the way the they took it.
No matter how much I love words, I definitely need to learn to filter my mouth. I constantly suffer from foot in mouth syndrome, often not realizing I've had an episode until hours or days, or weeks later. I especially fail to think when I'm excited or happy, it's like my brain shuts down and stupid remarks fall out without being processed. Even worse my memory is horrible so I often don't remember what I said - so when somebody makes an offhanded remark about what I said 'I'm like, woah my words are powerful enough to be noted' and 'crap I totally didn't mean it like that'. I'm sarcastic and opinionated and blunt. My hurtful remarks have diminished considerably but I still need to watch my words and actions, I don't want somebody to be hurt when I didn't mean it the way the they took it.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Probably more than an Obsession
Ok I admit it, I love Veronica Mars. My sisters would say obsessed - I prefer intense liking, and I like to believe it's perfectly normal to relinquish sleep in order to stare at a screen - and watch a few episode during the day as well. I might have a problem. :P
I'm not sure what aspect makes it so great, simply put it's a serious about a modern day Nancy Drew, with more drama, danger, love, attitude, and technology. But it's so much more complex then the 'simply put' version. It's mini mystery's wrapped up in a huge murder mystery with multiple suspects and tons of clues that consistently keep you guessing (the first season more then the other two) and with clever writers who end an episode at a suspenseful climax you have to watch another episode and then another. This bundled with an amazing cast playing dynamic characters that undergo transformation throughout the series and writing that is lol hilarious and past and current cultral references, and fantastic relationships between the characters makes a fantastic series. Actually I can't describe what makes it so addicting. It just is.
p.s. If you should began to watch Veronica Mars I should warn you that it is addicting - but there are only three seasons. Also, there are only three seasons!!!!!!! It will leave you wanting - and it's currently on Neflix's instant play :-D
I'm not sure what aspect makes it so great, simply put it's a serious about a modern day Nancy Drew, with more drama, danger, love, attitude, and technology. But it's so much more complex then the 'simply put' version. It's mini mystery's wrapped up in a huge murder mystery with multiple suspects and tons of clues that consistently keep you guessing (the first season more then the other two) and with clever writers who end an episode at a suspenseful climax you have to watch another episode and then another. This bundled with an amazing cast playing dynamic characters that undergo transformation throughout the series and writing that is lol hilarious and past and current cultral references, and fantastic relationships between the characters makes a fantastic series. Actually I can't describe what makes it so addicting. It just is.
p.s. If you should began to watch Veronica Mars I should warn you that it is addicting - but there are only three seasons. Also, there are only three seasons!!!!!!! It will leave you wanting - and it's currently on Neflix's instant play :-D
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Attack of the Big Green Monster
I have a serious problem with envy. I always feel like the grass is greener on the other side. Even when I’ve been on the other side and I know that the grass is wilted. And when I actually think about it I remember all the benefits of being right where I am and all the downsides to being there. But still I feel envious. I wish it was possible to have the best of both worlds. Or like you could customize your life – I’d like a meaningful job that I love, with great pay, under 40hrs a week, with a four year degree, and coworkers I can get along with – I’d like to live in the middle of no where, but have the convenience of living in a city, and a private road. Sadly life is not made to order so I’m stuck with having to learn to love what I got and enjoy it while it last, because soon I’ll be wishing I was right where I am now.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
2 week Hiatus
So I have an excuse for my absence, as I do for everything. I was in NYC for a week and then New Hampshire. I ended up having to skip church and Winter Jam because mom wanted to leave Sunday morning. And she didn’t find out about it until Saturday night. So I was pretty mad because I had plans for that week.
So we get to NYC and the hotel looks really nice – until we get to our room. It was ridiculously small and just ew – and they didn’t even have internet! (oh well they did, you just had to pay 15 bucks for the day). So I really couldn’t blog about my adventures (or the lack of) in NYC. But to recap, I woke up, walked to work, worked, walked back, ate dinner, watched charmed, went to bed. Then just when I thought I couldn’t stand another second the lady we were working under wanted us to go to Long Island to work. This hotel was soooo much nicer – they had internet and breakfast in the morning, and the beds were soft and – oooo so much nicer. And I could have blogged then – and I tired I really did – but my emotions were all over the place, I was frustrated, annoyed, indifferent, amused, blessed, and I’d start to write something then decide to write about something else, then go back so really I was all confused and watched Veronica Mars instead.
Then Mom realized that we didn’t have any work for the next week so she decided we were going to New Hampshire. So I got to see my babies and my sisters!!! I mostly had a good time there. They’re all getting so big!!!
And now I’m home. I finally get to sleep in my own comfy bed. I can finally run. I can drive! And I can blog. :-)
So we get to NYC and the hotel looks really nice – until we get to our room. It was ridiculously small and just ew – and they didn’t even have internet! (oh well they did, you just had to pay 15 bucks for the day). So I really couldn’t blog about my adventures (or the lack of) in NYC. But to recap, I woke up, walked to work, worked, walked back, ate dinner, watched charmed, went to bed. Then just when I thought I couldn’t stand another second the lady we were working under wanted us to go to Long Island to work. This hotel was soooo much nicer – they had internet and breakfast in the morning, and the beds were soft and – oooo so much nicer. And I could have blogged then – and I tired I really did – but my emotions were all over the place, I was frustrated, annoyed, indifferent, amused, blessed, and I’d start to write something then decide to write about something else, then go back so really I was all confused and watched Veronica Mars instead.
Then Mom realized that we didn’t have any work for the next week so she decided we were going to New Hampshire. So I got to see my babies and my sisters!!! I mostly had a good time there. They’re all getting so big!!!
And now I’m home. I finally get to sleep in my own comfy bed. I can finally run. I can drive! And I can blog. :-)
Friday, March 18, 2011
The Tales of a Sun Burnt Runner
"The heavy beat of her sneakers slamming against the pavement failed to weaken the thundering thoughts that invaded her mind. Her lungs threatened to explode and the blood ferociously pumped a steady rhythm as it rushed to her head. Her muscles began to ache, pleading to go no further. The heat rose throughout her body and sweat glistened every inch of her skin. But still she ran, ignoring all the screaming signs from her brain."
See the problem isn't that I don't have enough topics to talk about - the problem is that I don't know what topic to cover next. :-/
I just went for a run. I love running! Most of the time it doesn't clear my head but makes me think more. Like today it gave a million topics to write about - most of which I have forgotten - so I want to stop running and start writing. But by the time I get back to the house and catch my breath I forgot what it was I wanted to write. Same thing happens when I'm in the shower.
I use to run all the time, now it's just sparingly. I miss running. I miss running my stress away, I miss being outside everyday. I miss escaping my thoughts by pushing my body until it screams for me to stop and my lungs threaten to explode from my chest. I miss chasing down a ball, I miss proving that I can last even when my body is screaming that I can’t, I miss the thrill, I miss the runners high.
Now my bones ache and my muscles scream before I’ve even reached the half hour mark. Now my body betrays me and I’ve felt pain that I don’t remember. But I still love running. I’m hoping to build my endurance up again, I’m hoping to tone up and lose the extra baggage. It’s gonna be a long road and having to leave town for work and Longwood and not having a gym to use when it’s cold or raining is only gonna make it worse.
I remember Stephme and had created a workout routine that didn’t last long. We would get up early and run, or do the video when we finally bought it. It started out great but then school got in the way. Exercise was the first to go after endless all nighters. And for a heavy snacker this is not ok. But too late now.
Also today was a beeeauutiful day! So after my shower I thought it would be a most excellent idea to go outside and lay in the sun for a little while and read a book. I was right it was great!! However I fell asleep. And for a norwegian who is neon white and CAN'T tan (no matter what my dad claims) this is NOT GREAT!!!! Now I am sun burnt on one side of my left leg and a very small portion on my right leg. :-/
And after my dad laughed at me he told me that next time I need to lay the other way to even it out and before long I'll have a nice even tan. Obviously 20 years of never having a 'real' tan is not enough evidence for him to believe that I can tan. (I say 'real' tan because my skin does get a shade darker, I've had the hair-tie tan lines to prove it, however showing my friend she replied with "thats NOT a tan, thats going from neon white to pasty!!" )
To sum up – I love running – I suck at running – I’m gonna start running again. … hopefully. :-D - sunburns suck - I can't tan.
See the problem isn't that I don't have enough topics to talk about - the problem is that I don't know what topic to cover next. :-/
I just went for a run. I love running! Most of the time it doesn't clear my head but makes me think more. Like today it gave a million topics to write about - most of which I have forgotten - so I want to stop running and start writing. But by the time I get back to the house and catch my breath I forgot what it was I wanted to write. Same thing happens when I'm in the shower.
I use to run all the time, now it's just sparingly. I miss running. I miss running my stress away, I miss being outside everyday. I miss escaping my thoughts by pushing my body until it screams for me to stop and my lungs threaten to explode from my chest. I miss chasing down a ball, I miss proving that I can last even when my body is screaming that I can’t, I miss the thrill, I miss the runners high.
Now my bones ache and my muscles scream before I’ve even reached the half hour mark. Now my body betrays me and I’ve felt pain that I don’t remember. But I still love running. I’m hoping to build my endurance up again, I’m hoping to tone up and lose the extra baggage. It’s gonna be a long road and having to leave town for work and Longwood and not having a gym to use when it’s cold or raining is only gonna make it worse.
I remember Stephme and had created a workout routine that didn’t last long. We would get up early and run, or do the video when we finally bought it. It started out great but then school got in the way. Exercise was the first to go after endless all nighters. And for a heavy snacker this is not ok. But too late now.
Also today was a beeeauutiful day! So after my shower I thought it would be a most excellent idea to go outside and lay in the sun for a little while and read a book. I was right it was great!! However I fell asleep. And for a norwegian who is neon white and CAN'T tan (no matter what my dad claims) this is NOT GREAT!!!! Now I am sun burnt on one side of my left leg and a very small portion on my right leg. :-/
And after my dad laughed at me he told me that next time I need to lay the other way to even it out and before long I'll have a nice even tan. Obviously 20 years of never having a 'real' tan is not enough evidence for him to believe that I can tan. (I say 'real' tan because my skin does get a shade darker, I've had the hair-tie tan lines to prove it, however showing my friend she replied with "thats NOT a tan, thats going from neon white to pasty!!" )
To sum up – I love running – I suck at running – I’m gonna start running again. … hopefully. :-D - sunburns suck - I can't tan.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Welcome to Existance
well I've finally done it (again). I've created another blog - one that I hope to actually write in.
So I guess in my first blog there's the customary answer to the "who am I?" question and to be honest I have no idea. :-P
I mean, I know I'm not perfect and I don't pretend to be. My hair is usually a mess, my clothes don't always match, I spill things a lot, I'm clumsy, I'm a picky eater, I mess up songs and I'm a terrible singer, I can't spell to save my life, I love purple, I'm a slacker. I like to write, I love to read, I like to run and play sports (but I'm not very good at any), my room is a mess and I usually don't bother making my bed, I love adventure and I'd try anything once (some times 3 or 4 times because I forgot what it was like and because I'm a firm believer in second chances), I like to travel ... I have many interests and likes and a LOT of dislikes. I have amazing friends, I have a wonderful family, my life is a chaotic mess of uncertainty, and I love it.
So I guess in my first blog there's the customary answer to the "who am I?" question and to be honest I have no idea. :-P
I mean, I know I'm not perfect and I don't pretend to be. My hair is usually a mess, my clothes don't always match, I spill things a lot, I'm clumsy, I'm a picky eater, I mess up songs and I'm a terrible singer, I can't spell to save my life, I love purple, I'm a slacker. I like to write, I love to read, I like to run and play sports (but I'm not very good at any), my room is a mess and I usually don't bother making my bed, I love adventure and I'd try anything once (some times 3 or 4 times because I forgot what it was like and because I'm a firm believer in second chances), I like to travel ... I have many interests and likes and a LOT of dislikes. I have amazing friends, I have a wonderful family, my life is a chaotic mess of uncertainty, and I love it.
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