New Beginnings : Old Doubts

It’s a weird feeling to be excited and melancholy at the same time. I didn’t want this job, was even refusing to apply. Tiffany convinced me I should at least fill it out, stating that I might not get the job and I don’t have to accept the offer if I don’t want to. But how can you say no to such an opportunity? I grudgingly, hastily filled out the application. I thought my answers were sloppy, and off the mark, I was like, hey if I’m suppose to get the job then I will, my answers don’t really matter. Honestly, I hoped that I wouldn’t get the job, I was even prepared for the rejection email (and the justification of my speeding ticket to be the reason, certainly not an internal attribute). So it became clear that this is what God wanted me to do. I was rather bummed. This has nothing to do with my major, my qualifications, or even something I want to do. However an adventure is an adventure, and if this is what God wants then this is what I’m doing. Slowly I began to warm up to the idea and I’m almost to the point where I’m looking forward to going. :-P
So in two weeks I’ll board a plane to take me across the country (literally) where I’ll spend 2 weeks in LA and then travel across the U.S – and get paid to do so. Pretty awesome once in a lifetime opportunity right? However, I’ve been exposed to all the downsides of this arrangement. For 10 months I’ll be away from my family and friends. I’ll be in a hotel room creeping on facebook about the all the fun times
they’re having together. For 10 months I won’t have a ‘home’ I’ll be shuffled from one hotel to the next (I’ve definitely lost the appeal of hotels) for 10 months I wont experience home cooking. For 10 months I wont sleep in my own bed. For 10 months I’ll be on the road. I’ll be spending 10 months with the some person I don’t know, no breaks!

So yeah on the outside it looks pretty amazing, I’ll get to travel all over, and it is cool – but you don’t have to pack your stuff up every morning and spend hours on the road.



So I’m deciding to look on the bright side from now on. In two weeks I’ll leave everybody behind – I mean – in two weeks I’ll board a plane to take me to LA and I’ll meet a bunch of amazing people who are about to embark on they’re own 10 month journey. In two weeks I’ll meet my future roomie/copilot who I will experience America with. In two weeks I will develop skills as a techie. I will spend 10 months with an awesome woman of God. I will spend 10 months meeting tons of new people and new connections and learn their stories. For 10 month I will learn more about myself and about life. For 10 months I will have countless adventures.

Just realized – 2 WEEKS!!!! =O

Lost in Fiction

What to write – what to write???

Once again, the topics are plentiful but the focus is minimal.

...Hmm lets go with my reading list =D If you don’t know already I am addicted to reading. Another quality I picked up from my dad – I mean mom reads too but she’s one of those ‘read a few pages before bed’ types. Not the ‘gladly give up sleep to read just one more chapter’ type. Like the rest of my sisters, I am an obsessive reader. Some how the boys missed out on the whole book experience – I mean the littlest brother occasionally reads, but he’s not obsessed. Funny how that worked out.

Quite literally, I grew up at the library. Ever since I can remember I’ve had a Library card (however my memory is ridiculously bad, I’m sure they didn’t let a 3 year old have a library card, but if they did I owned it). I can’t really remember going to the library when I was little (expect this one story hour episode that’s very vague and blurry) but I’ve heard the stories and spent much of my childhood picking out books. We had to do a project for school and I had to ask my mom some childhood questions, one of which was how did I learn to read. Mom’s response ‘learn? I don’t know; you’ve always known how to read.” As much as I’d like to believe I came out of the womb reading, I find this highly illogical. But my librarian watched me grow up – well grow into a thirteen year old at least. She knew my card by heart and would always point out books she thought I might like to read. I quite literally read the entire kids section and the juvenile section and was about to tackle the young adult books when I moved. The small library was just that,
small. But it was great, I never had a late fee (because they loved me and knew they would never see it) even when I found a book that was about 5 years over due.



My mom’s punishment when I didn’t do whatever it was I was assigned to do was to take away my current book. So not fair, especially when it was a harry potter book, pure torture. I don’t know what it is about books, but I can’t get enough of them. Maybe the way words occupy every thought, your whole mind is wrapped up in the journey of the characters and it’s like you’re on the adventure with them. Or maybe it’s that it puts you into the mind of a person who is experiencing something you will never have the opportunity to know. Hmm… what do you think it is that makes stories so alluring? I mean, even little kids beg for a bed time story, is it something we’re taught or it is an element in our nature?

Anyways, now that I’ve turned 21 I’ve grown out of my reading addiction. Just kidding. It’s only gotten worse.



She begged, and begged, and begged to go. And now the reality of the dream was seeping in. She threw on her coat and shoes and waited in the yard. Her book bag was packed full and she hardly noticed the intense weight. The heavy door slammed shut behind her announcing her sisters presence, ‘ready to go?’ She did this hop jump skip thing, “ready!” Her sister rolled her eyes at her excitement as she all but sprinted toward the road. The hike wasn’t far but some times it felt like forever. She always hated passing the abandoned house with the crooked sidewalk, and broken streetlight, but it was a necessity if she was to reach her destination. Luckily, the house was the last stretch and she was allowed to run past it and up to the door. She pulled the heavy door open and raced inside, the sweet musty smell of old books hit her and she knew she was home. She stood in front and stared up at the collection of tales. Excited about the new journey that lay within reach of her fingertips.
She pulled adventure after adventure of the shelf and piled them high on the floor. Then she took her carefully selected collection over to the checkout desk.
“Woah, that’s a lot of books?”
She looked at the relatively large stack and shrugged, “nothing more then usual”
“I don’t know, some of these books are pretty thick, you think you can read all these in two weeks?”
“Girl please, this aint nothing. I’ll probably be back before they’re due.” She took the loaned worlds and shoved them in the now empty backpack, but left one out. She dropped the bag to the floor and settled into the big chair, eager to escape into a new mystery, a new adventure. The six year old slowly opened the cover and slipped away….

(p.s. this wasn't where I thought this post would go but eh it works :)