Colorado Love

I’ve done the unimaginable – I moved to a city, and like it!! My sister lives in Colorado Springs and it is beautiful here! But she lives in a big house with a huge backyard and even though a shopping center is around the corner it doesn’t seem like it. It’s great. Don’t get me wrong I miss my middle of nowhere solitude but I love being 10 minutes from work and within walking distance to church (not that I actually walk because that would require me getting up earlier). Also I LOVE being close to my nephews!

The One Where I'm Always Missing You.

I’m familiar with the void of the people I love not being in my everyday life, or even my every week. I can’t remember a time I didn’t miss someone. I mean it’s not like I was unhappy or walked around moping. It’s just that there has always been someone or rather multiple people, who weren’t involved in my life that should have been. And I feel left out when I’m not involved in their lives, I don’t get to share in the everyday moments, even if it’s just ranting about an awful day or laughing because your pants caught on a hook and ripped and an old guy hit on you … or was that just me? I think some of my favorite bonding is done over rants of bad days – however I am especially good at improving bad days – unless it’s my own.

Long distance relationships (as in friendships and family relationships) are especially hard for me, which is probably attributed to my memory. I am incredibly forgetful it’s awful (and I’ll have to tell you about it in another post) and I’m a terrible person to talk to on the phone, actually I’m a terrible person to talk to in general. I can answer questions but unless it’s a direct question I don’t offer up information voluntarily. Which my memory is a contributing factor, I forget what’s happened in my life that you might want to hear about. I’m better at writing … so I might start writing my missing pieces – and I’ll try to keep you updated on my blog … but it’s not happening well.

But another cool thing is once you’re my good friend, you’re my friend for life. Even if I don’t talk to you for say 4 years the second we meet up again it’s like we never left.

This is my life - Update.

I wish I wasn’t such a horrible blogger – but eh what can you do?

So I guess I should do the update spiel – my summer was awesome. I’ve written multiple summer posts but never posted them, blog fail.
I finished touring with Camfel at the beginning of June, after having multiple trips from the DC area up to New England and back multiple times (within the span of a week), I returned to Virginia for a hot summer with no real plans except a job application fiesta.

It was completely different from last summer, but equally as awesome. I slept in late, stayed up really late, ran a lot, swam a lot, was sick a lot, entertained the dog, and visited family. I was also able to work at Camp Concord about every other week which was AWESOME!!! And a Best Friend got married!!!! :D

Last summer I was constantly busy, this summer I was completely free. I wish I had spent more time with some friends, but they happened to be busy.
Fast forward through the summer months (which was basically how it was anyways) and Fall hits. Currently I am sitting in my sister’s living room in Colorado Springs. I love it here!! So much so that my parents left today and I stayed. I’m ready to start a new adventure here, and it’s gonna be great.

The One Where We Went to Gettysburg (part 1,2, & 3)

As I’ve said we’ve been through Pennsylvania quite a bit, and while we still haven’t toured Pittsburg (despite being there a lot) we have been to Gettysburg three times. We love it.

The first time we went, we were in the next town over or two towns over. I hadn’t used any personal miles because we spent the weekend with friends and they’d drive us places, or I’d walk, or stop on the way and it was the end of the month (our miles don’t roll over). My exact words were “I want to use up some personal miles so I don’t look boring”. After our show, we decided to go. We ended up taking the auto tour and it was a blast.

We walked through this field – just because – it was a beautiful day and I got a little bit sunburnt. After taking a million pictures of fields (a large amount of the same few fields but at a different angle :P) we were tired and ate some dinner at friendlys.




The next time we went we stayed in the wyndhym right next to the theater and we decided to do the town tour. So we walked up and down the shops – it was a Tuesday and most of the museums were closed – as were the books stores. So we went in a bunch of antique and thrift stores but didn’t find anything worth buying. But we did find this cute little shop that sold guns and jewelry and bought some cameo earrings. Then went to a field of course.

And we watched the hunger games! … again :P

Then we stayed for another weekend and there seemed to be a greyhound convention at the days inn. But we walked around the town, hit up some book stores, antique shops, and went back to the jewelry store for more treasures. And Reeb bought a sword. The Museum of History was finally open (we always seemed to go when it was closed) so that was interesting. The owner is a private collector with a wide selection of artifacts, like locks of hair, Lincoln’s opera glasses, a small patch of bloodstained limousine upholstery from JRK’s assassination, and the flag that flew during the attack on Pearl Harbor. He opens the exhibits free of charge and if you’re ever in town I highly recommend it. Then to finish of the weekend we played freebie on a battlefield.

Gettysburg is probably one of my favorite tiny cities.

The One Where We Stayed at the Steamboat Inn, Lancaster PA

So apparently I never share the tales of my adventures – that’s because what you call adventure I call everyday life! :P just kidding, I don’t have many adventures and if I do they are brief and probably only exciting to me – but to appease my readers I will divulge on my everyday life :P

I’ve traveled the state of Pennsylvania quite a bit this semester and every time we drive through Lancaster we see the Fulton Steamboat Inn and want to stay. But Reeb has some friends in Lancaster so when we have a show near there we usually stay with them. However, this past Monday we left Holly’s and stayed at the Steamboat Inn for a night!

We lugged all our stuff in and then went exploring. And by exploring I mean we walked the halls taking pictures like creepers.

You can see Reeb creeping on the left

Never Ending Hallway of Doom

My favorite was the free cookies in the lobby – I grabbed one every time I walked by so I ate like four cookies – and I wanted some for dessert but when we went out for dinner they were gone :/

There was a rubber duck living in the bathroom – so of course, I stole him and he now lives with his friends on the dashboard.

To complete the night we walked across the street to Olive Garden and feasted on chicken alfredo and breadsticks. Then went back to the room and watched Star Trek. Yes, I embarrassingly watched Star Trek, and liked it – I feel like a complete dork.

And this is my life. :P

The Happy Mother's Day Post

Well my dad got a post so I figured my mom should too – and as the Father’s day post was early it’s fitting that this is late.

This is my mom, and the handsome guy holding on to her is the dad. :)

My mom is … a mom. I feel like that should be a professional title – and it shouldn’t be applied to all mothers but my mom is definitely a professional mom (except the being paid for it – unless hugs are a form of payment?). Even a lot of the people she works with call her mom.

If I thought it was hard to describe my dad my mom is even worse – at least with Dad you get can get a picture (big intimidating military guy with gray hair who grunts and seems scary but is actually a friendly giant). But mom can be even more complicated than dad.

My mom is a pretty amazing woman. I know she has her faults and no mom is perfect but she’s my mom and I wouldn’t trade her for anything. Even people who aren’t family or really friends love her. … unless you’re a boyfriend/girlfriend/ or”bad influence” of one of her kids you’d agree that she is super sweet, kind, and … amazing.

In my recent travels I’ve had the opportunity of staying at the house of one my mom’s friends. As we were talking one night during dinner she said to me “one of the things that’s so great about your mother is she’s a true Christian. I’ve come into contact with a lot of fake Christians but not your mom, she’s real.” Which is an accurate depiction. She truly loves people, even if she doesn’t agree with them or if they’re getting on her nerves or even like them, still she loves them. And she’s full of second chances (and third and fourths). Probably stemming from dealing with eleven frustrating kids. It was one of the coolest things to hear.

I wish I knew her before she was ‘the mom’ – I’m betting she was pretty wild, she’d almost have to be to marry my dad! Just kidding, … but not really. I know she sought adventure and lived for the thrill of life, still does but her idea of adventure and thrill has significantly changed. Hmm I’ll have to think of ways to divulge her high school/ navy / dating dad, escapades.
Anyways my mom is kind.
She hates saying no and usually avoids it by saying ‘I don’t KNOW about that’ or “hmm maybe” or ‘we’ll have to see’ or ‘go ask your dad’ or ‘I’m not so sure that’s a good idea’ or ‘ how about this instead’ or by claiming to not hear the question or remember that the conversation ever took place. And if you put enough pressure or give enough quality reasons she’ll usually cave. Unless it’s something ridiculous like buying me a car when I got my drivers license (I was quite persistent though).
If you’re in need she will give you the shirt off her back, figuratively because she’s usually got a change of clothes in her car so if you needed a shirt she’d give you that one. She’ll always say ‘ok but just this once’ or claim that she’ll ‘never again’ help someone that’s used her – but she does. She’s always helping out.
Her car is always a mess. She is a pack rat. She never throws anything away and is always collecting more stuff. She will talk to anyone about anything! She is an awesome cook. And I’m picky. (sometimes she even makes a separate dish for me without gross stuff.) She is a workaholic. She loves games. She loves her shows. It takes her forever to read a book! She dances in the kitchen. If you call that dancing :P She gives the best hugs. (ask anybody). She lets me mess up her hair. She laughs a lot. She loves talking on the phone – and does it loudly. She loves talking. She’ll agree to do something to help out even if she really doesn’t want to. She’s funny. She’s silly. Her favorite gift is an afghan – so if you got married or had a baby and you didn’t get a gift it’s because she’s still making it (she’s quite a few blankets behind). She’s a procrastinator. A night owl. She is a dysfunctional organizer (meaning she loves to organize and be organized but her desk and room is always a mess.) She’s honest – even when she loses out when correcting the mistake. She is a coffee fiend.
She is one of a kind. Be jealous.

Lazy Days of ... Life.

I will be the first to admit that I am lazy. I love this job because I don’t have anything to do. I mean sure, I have to set up shows and drive and take care of van issues and call ins and monthlies but compared to being swamped with homework and paperwork I’m all, “I have no reason to wake up.” This is both a good thing and a bad thing. A good thing because my life is stress free, bad because I waste my days away. It’s Saturday, I have no reason to roll out of bed, no reason to get dressed, no reason to not spend hours online, no reason to put the book down, and no reason to exhort effort. We’ve been staying with one of my mom’s friends quite a bit lately and she’s in her 50s I believe, and she is super busy. She always has plans and dates, she’s always saying “You girls are on your own tonight, I’m going to a concert.” Or going to NYC, or whatever she happens to be doing, “what do you have planned?” And Rebekah and I look at each other, both sitting on the couch with our computers watching a movie and surfing the web, “this is about it.” I like the quiet life and simplicity of it all. Don’t get me wrong I like to go out and do things – but I like lounging about as well. I like not HAVING to do stuff.

Rainy Days

I know I’ve said it before but I really do love the occasional rainy day. It gives me the perfect excuse to sit around drinking hot liquids, watch movies, and lay around reading. … not that I really need an excuse because I do it all the time anyways. Currently I’m huddled in my pj’s with a cup of tea watching Tangled as the rain drops run down the window. And waiting for brownies to bake.

I love this movie, and not just because she’s got blonde hair and a purple dress. I love that she’s in search of her dream, in search of adventure – and that her dream doesn’t include a dude until after she realizes that he’s pretty cool. So once again I’m on the subject of dreams and goals for my life. Or the lack there of. So what are your dreams for the future? For next month? For next year? The next five years?

Writing.

I love writing. But I’m not a fan of finishing. I have so many blog and story ideas that will never develop into anything. I have the beginning of many blogs and stories that will never transpire into anything. My computer is littered with possible blogs that I’ve never put the polishing edits – or endings to. A lot of it has to deal with being distracted and not being able to recapture the moment I was in when I started writing. But it’s more that I’m my biggest critic. When I start writing I realize how dumb I sound, or how silly the post is, or how ridiculous and I just save it for later. Most of the posts on this blog are one’s I’ve written and posted right away so I don’t change my mind. This is one of the reasons they need a lot of editing (another reason is because I can’t spell and hate grammar). So all this to say it’s not that I don’t write blogs – it’s that I don’t post blogs.

Happy Friday. :)

Headache Cures

Today I had a headache.
I tend to get horrible headaches; mind crunching, teeth scraping, agonizing migraines. I blame my mom. They come in different ways; it can be a dull ache, sharp pain, steady throb, intense pressure. It’s hard to describe the pain besides excruciating. Noise doesn’t bother me (unless it’s a sudden interruption of quiet) but light is like driving a javelin through my eye sockets. Especially when I’m driving at night, riding in a car with a headache is nauseous enough but headlights are unbearable. Try shining 4100 lumens of raw light power* in your eyes and slamming your head against concrete.

However, I have some tried and true cures to MY headaches
1. Caffeine (tea, coffee, soda, my favorite is a frappe because it has the ice element)
2. Ice cream (any flavor (coffee bonus) any form: cone, cup, milk shake)
3. Chocolate (any flavor any form (coffee ice cream with chocolate syrup))
4. Food (sometimes when I don’t eat I get headaches)
5. Drugs
6. Shower/ bath (hot or cold, mix of both p.s this is my dad’s cure all :P)
7. Running (if it’s a dull ache and I can run through the pain it usually goes away by the end)
8. Ice pack to the head (usually while laying on the couch)
9. Distractions (reading, movie, friends, funny YouTube videos, something that makes me smile)
If all else fails SLEEP! Cures it every time, and I mean real sleep not a bogus 30-minute nap, usually curled up in a ball with a cold compression attached to my head and my brain screaming out in misery, cursing my existence. In addition, don’t expect me to make sense, my speech becomes even more muddled and incomprehensible. I can listen to conversations but don’t expect me to participate, also I tend to forget and lose things. Basically if I have a headache, I get extremely discombobulated.

*This is the world’s brightest flashlight; it can melt plastic, burn paper, cook eggs, and toast marshmallows just so you know

Conundrum

I don’t know what to do with my life. My contract is up in May / June and I’m undecided as to whether I want to apply for another year or not. Usually my decisions are based on somebody else deciding for me, or bubble gumming it (or train#9). This being one of the bigger life decisions I’ve decided to ask you reader(s) to carefully review my pro & cons list and add your perspective.

Camfel
Pros
- A paying job
- Free rent & food & insurance
- I get to travel
- Varity
- No set schedule
- Easy, somewhat boring life
- I like setting up
- Random days off
- Meeting new people
- No real worries or deadlines
- I’d have another year to work on my ‘camfel’ goals
- Most hotels usually have a fitness room (not that I always use it)
Cons
- I miss my friends
- I can’t have a ‘real’ life
- I miss belonging to a church
- I miss real food.
- I’m tired of living out of van/suit case.
- I don’t want to HAVE to drive.
- I could end up with a crappy partner
- I could end up in LA again
- It’s another year away from my psych stuff
- Not paying to do laundry

Not Camfel
pros
- I can have a life (sort of)
- Friends
- Family
- I’d be able to find a more scheduled job … hopefully
- I could find a psych related job
- I could possibly find a higher paying job
- I’d be able to cook and bake real food
- pets
- church family
- run the lane
cons
- Back to job hunting
- I have to pay for gas/insurance/food
- No guarantee that I can find a job
- I’d have to decide where to live
- I could end up merchandizing again
- having an even worse job
- Back to crappy internet


Do you have anything that to add that will help me decide? Based on numbers alone it looks like another year with Camfel…

Sun Seeker

I love the heat of the sun. I should rephrase. I don’t like being swallowed up in an overwhelmingly sticky heat and blistering sun, but I like being warmed by it. When I lived in New York the house always seemed to trap the cool air inside so on Saturday mornings, in-between cartoons, I would drag my little pink quilt outside and lay on the warmed cellar door, just soaking up the warmth of the sun. In the afternoons I would have a picnic on the front (or back) lawn, occasionally lugging my stuffed animals with me. Or I would read on the porch roof.

Even when we moved to the hot sticky summers of Virginia I sought out the sun. I would sit in the pool reading a book in order to soak up the rays and stay cool. In the spring, fall, or evenings I would lay on the trampoline or grass and take a nap. Or if it was too hot or too cold to be outside I would perch myself in the window with a book or homework. When I lived in Farmville my bed was right next to the window and I’d lay with my face in the sun either to read or nap. Needless to say I was usually sun burnt and frequently found new freckles.

This is what I was thinking about in the car today as I drifted into unconsciousness. Periodically I would wake up and readjust as we went around a curve or when the sun sunk behind a cloud. And I realized - Oh noz I’m a cat.

Through Painted Deserts

“In the Mojave, we felt as though we were traveling through the desert in an oven. Joshua Tree National Park was on our left for miles, and I kept thinking about Bono and the boys, hiking up the hills in black and white. We moved out of the desert and turned north into the Sierra Nevada. I confess California has taken me by surprise. Not having been here, all I knew of the state was Los Angeles, the Lakers and Hollywood, and smog and surfers. But there are mountains here, an impressive range, and the brown of the desert gives way to green, rolling green hills fed by creeks running over boulders, splashing down through pastures where sheep graze. The Sierra Nevada has towering peaks that would give the Rockies a run. We slope slowly through meadows, the mountains in the distance, the deserts behind us. Mike had told me about the mountains in California, but I never imagined them to be so majestic.” ~ Donald Miller Through Painted Deserts

I wish I could write my adventures like this. Through Painted Deserts is a written portrayal of Don and Paul’s journey from Texas to Oregon. Miller is an awesome writer. He has the ability to almost ramble on for pages about nothing in particular and yet manages to talk about so much. I love the paragraph above; it’s what I wish I could write. Instead I come up with intense insights like “California is soo pretty. And it’s different from the east coast and once you get away from LA I actually like it a lot.” – yeah I defiantly need to hone my writing ‘skills’ more. But I wanted to share this snippet with you because it describes my feelings exactly – at least for one of our trips to a school in the middle of nowhere. Except for the heat – we mostly had air conditioning – except when we were overheating. As much as I complained about California I didn’t hate it. I loved spending everyday with Rosita and the background was beautiful. I just can’t get over being stuck in HOURS of traffic every day.

What’s next?

A reoccurring question for many. Where do I go from here? I could literally go anywhere and do anything … within reason – no actually I could do anything. But what? That is the ultimate problem, what’s next? Near the end of May my contract with Camfel will be over. I should probably start figuring out where I go from there. Do I want to tour again or find a job somewhere else? I know my friends and family in VA want me to move back home. But I dunno if home is where God wants me. I don’t know what God has in store for me and He hasn’t been too forthcoming with answers. I suppose I should probably start the application rounds again. I hate filling out applications.
The nuisance is more that I don’t know what I want. I don’t know whats next, what I want to do, where I want to live, it all sounds good and I’m terribly indecisive. I’m jealous of people who know their dream and know what they want to do. They have something to work towards, to strive to. I just want to love life, and I’m pretty content in most circumstance. But at the same time I feel blessed that I’m not tied down and I’m not struggling towards what seems like an unreachable dream. I can go anywhere. I can start over somewhere new and I only have the looming college debt hanging over my head. The opportunities are basically endless. And I want to seize the freedom while it lasts; I’m not gonna be a single, duty free 22 year old forever. It’s pretty sweet … now I just need to figure out what I want to do. Anybody want to job hunt for me??????

I guess I’ll start with a opportunity list … or maybe a dream list? future list? … or maybe a list of things to call my ‘what to do next’ list?

Old Post never posted : West to East

[on the way to Alaska] I am currently on a plane over the mountains of Cali. I didn’t think the sunrises of Cali could get more beautiful but watching the sun explode into the sky as the airplane ascended into the air was gorgeous. And then when we burst through the cloud cover and the real sun rays hit, it literally hurt my eyes and I wasn’t even in the direct sunlight. Then the sun reflecting off the water, it’s really hard to describe and I was in an aisle seat sooo no pictures. But going above the mountains is a lot more enjoyable then driving through them.
So this is it. I’m headed out of Cali. Finally!! I’m rather sad to be leaving my best friend, but at the same time it’ll be good to get away. We’ve literally spent EVERY day and EVERY hour together for the past 3 months. I’m gonna miss her. But I am excited about working with a new partner. But sad to, we’ll have to relearn a new pattern and adjust to working together. But Rebekah is awesome and I can’t wait to see the East Coast with her.
I loved my first semester at Camfel, and as excited as I am to be getting out of Cali I’m sad to see the semester end. I’m gonna miss making dinner with Rosita, “arguing” about everything, dancing in the van … and kitchen, and during shows. I’m gonna miss CCV, the awesome weather of California, in-n-out, not living out of a van and seeing the mountains every morning. I won’t miss LA traffic, getting up at crazy hours in the ‘morning’, working in the office, and the small shower. Yeah I’m happy to get back to the east coast.
[writing from Long Island] Ok as much as it kills me to admit it … I miss Cali. :-P
Don’t get me wrong it feels GREAT to be back ‘home’. To see trees and grass and snow and the Atlantic and sheets and wawa and dunkin donuts and chicken salad! It’s funny how different it is and impossible to describe the difference. But I do miss the flip flop weather and … ok that’s it. :-P And as much as I hate to admit it I could totally live in Cali – in a non-LA trafficked area! … except it’s WAY too far from friends. I miss everybody something awful.

Alaskan Travels

So I started a “good-bye first semester camfel post”, and never finished it and then I started some Alaskan posts and never finished them. But I want to share some of my Alaskan adventures so I’ll try to type something out completely. First of all it was freezing cold!! And I know you’re like “yeah, duh!, it’s ALASKA” but no, it’s Freezing! The first days weren’t bad, a little chilled when the wind blew but then the temperature dropped into the negatives and it was ‘don’t-even-bother-going-outside’. Generally I’m a cold person in normal cold temperatures, but the negatives made me never want to even try going outside. … ok some of that was the fact that I’m lazy and didn’t want to get dressed to leave the house but whatever :-P. And my feet were always cold. I’d try to get one of the kids or dogs to sit on them to warm them up, the dogs were usually willing space heaters … the kids not so much, they’d complain that I was making them cold.
Anyways, Alaska is beautiful. Even in the cold winter. The view from the sky was awesome; sadly I couldn’t take pictures because I had an aisle seat for most of it. Naturally everything is covered in snow and the air holds the bitter crisp of winter which settles a hazy fog over the limited hours of sunlight. I love going outside and playing in the snow and feeling the warm sun on my cold face and being blinded by the white glimmering world. But it’s impossible to enjoy the snow when it’s negative and the fog freezes on your glasses and the sun doesn’t warm your face. Although the dancing ice crystals are pretty. I did get to go ice skating – a lot. And bowling, and shopping, and a tour a glass making/ art gallery type deal. Mostly I just enjoyed my time with the Stimpful family. I loved playing games, watching shows, dancing (or what I like to call dancing), bothering each other, playing barbies and the wii, fighting over the front seat, baking yummy treats, chasing the northern lights, staying up late and sleeping in. It was awesome.
The only thing that I did not like about spending Christmas in Alaska was breaking down. We were on the way to pick up one of Kaytie’s friends and then hit up the ice rink when the battery volts quickly started going down. It was the alternator dying. At least this time I wasn’t stuck in the middle of nowhere, we weren’t too far from home, however it was –15 and the window wouldn’t roll up. It turned out ok, one of their friends towed us home and we pushed the truck into the garage.
Also I hated leaving. I hate saying goodbye … and packing. But the plane ride into anchorage was beautiful. The moon was bright and the air was clear so I was able to watch the town as we took off. I saw the endless territory of white bliss and the rivers that cut a path. I could see the lights of the coal train as it pulled through the terrain and headlights that guided the cars through the icy path. It was cool, but next time I visit it will be during the summer time!

It's been about a year

I guess a nostalgic 2011 and a hopeful 2012 post is required. I loved 2011, 2010 was good but very stressful. 2011 was just plain awesome. I have so many memories and so many firsts that will forever be locked in 2011 … except my memory is whack and I’ll probably forget all the ones that I don’t have photos to remember by. I probably won’t remember the tons of hotels I stayed in. I won’t remember the tons of stores I worked in, or the schools for that matter. I doubt the exhausting pet smarts will stay and the week working in NYC. A dust cloud will settle over the sleepless visits to Longwood and the trips to visit with sisters and nieces and nephews. A fog will capture the hot summer with an overheating neon and endless nights talking to friends. Stephs wedding will become a blur and what happened at the beach house will wash away with the waves. Graduation is a distant achievement and the hours logged as a camfel tech will blend. 2011 will be remembered as one of the best years of my life and the excruciating days will fade to nonexistence. This past year will be one I will forever relive… “remember that one time we…” “when I lived in Cali for a season…” “when I worked in NYC for that week…” “while I was working for camfel…” “during my LU graduation…” “At Steph’s wedding…” “remember that time I came and visited you…” “Hey! I’ve been there!”

As for the expectations of 2012. I’m too realistic to make resolutions because I don’t keep them – like my first semester Camfel goals – yup not any tanner (who didn’t see that coming) - I haven’t written more – and failed at learning the guitar (not my fault I tried but didn’t have a teacher and no internet) – my British accent was a bust – I’m continually learning more about Jesus so that one was a success. :D
But I still have high hopes for 2012. I don’t know what to expect, there’s a lot of unknown that’s hidden in this new year, I guess that’s true for anybody right? I’m excited to see what adventure God has planned next. For now I’m content knowing there will be new memories, more laughter, strangers becoming friends, lots of love, and joy in every situation.