What’s next?

A reoccurring question for many. Where do I go from here? I could literally go anywhere and do anything … within reason – no actually I could do anything. But what? That is the ultimate problem, what’s next? Near the end of May my contract with Camfel will be over. I should probably start figuring out where I go from there. Do I want to tour again or find a job somewhere else? I know my friends and family in VA want me to move back home. But I dunno if home is where God wants me. I don’t know what God has in store for me and He hasn’t been too forthcoming with answers. I suppose I should probably start the application rounds again. I hate filling out applications.
The nuisance is more that I don’t know what I want. I don’t know whats next, what I want to do, where I want to live, it all sounds good and I’m terribly indecisive. I’m jealous of people who know their dream and know what they want to do. They have something to work towards, to strive to. I just want to love life, and I’m pretty content in most circumstance. But at the same time I feel blessed that I’m not tied down and I’m not struggling towards what seems like an unreachable dream. I can go anywhere. I can start over somewhere new and I only have the looming college debt hanging over my head. The opportunities are basically endless. And I want to seize the freedom while it lasts; I’m not gonna be a single, duty free 22 year old forever. It’s pretty sweet … now I just need to figure out what I want to do. Anybody want to job hunt for me??????

I guess I’ll start with a opportunity list … or maybe a dream list? future list? … or maybe a list of things to call my ‘what to do next’ list?

Old Post never posted : West to East

[on the way to Alaska] I am currently on a plane over the mountains of Cali. I didn’t think the sunrises of Cali could get more beautiful but watching the sun explode into the sky as the airplane ascended into the air was gorgeous. And then when we burst through the cloud cover and the real sun rays hit, it literally hurt my eyes and I wasn’t even in the direct sunlight. Then the sun reflecting off the water, it’s really hard to describe and I was in an aisle seat sooo no pictures. But going above the mountains is a lot more enjoyable then driving through them.
So this is it. I’m headed out of Cali. Finally!! I’m rather sad to be leaving my best friend, but at the same time it’ll be good to get away. We’ve literally spent EVERY day and EVERY hour together for the past 3 months. I’m gonna miss her. But I am excited about working with a new partner. But sad to, we’ll have to relearn a new pattern and adjust to working together. But Rebekah is awesome and I can’t wait to see the East Coast with her.
I loved my first semester at Camfel, and as excited as I am to be getting out of Cali I’m sad to see the semester end. I’m gonna miss making dinner with Rosita, “arguing” about everything, dancing in the van … and kitchen, and during shows. I’m gonna miss CCV, the awesome weather of California, in-n-out, not living out of a van and seeing the mountains every morning. I won’t miss LA traffic, getting up at crazy hours in the ‘morning’, working in the office, and the small shower. Yeah I’m happy to get back to the east coast.
[writing from Long Island] Ok as much as it kills me to admit it … I miss Cali. :-P
Don’t get me wrong it feels GREAT to be back ‘home’. To see trees and grass and snow and the Atlantic and sheets and wawa and dunkin donuts and chicken salad! It’s funny how different it is and impossible to describe the difference. But I do miss the flip flop weather and … ok that’s it. :-P And as much as I hate to admit it I could totally live in Cali – in a non-LA trafficked area! … except it’s WAY too far from friends. I miss everybody something awful.

Alaskan Travels

So I started a “good-bye first semester camfel post”, and never finished it and then I started some Alaskan posts and never finished them. But I want to share some of my Alaskan adventures so I’ll try to type something out completely. First of all it was freezing cold!! And I know you’re like “yeah, duh!, it’s ALASKA” but no, it’s Freezing! The first days weren’t bad, a little chilled when the wind blew but then the temperature dropped into the negatives and it was ‘don’t-even-bother-going-outside’. Generally I’m a cold person in normal cold temperatures, but the negatives made me never want to even try going outside. … ok some of that was the fact that I’m lazy and didn’t want to get dressed to leave the house but whatever :-P. And my feet were always cold. I’d try to get one of the kids or dogs to sit on them to warm them up, the dogs were usually willing space heaters … the kids not so much, they’d complain that I was making them cold.
Anyways, Alaska is beautiful. Even in the cold winter. The view from the sky was awesome; sadly I couldn’t take pictures because I had an aisle seat for most of it. Naturally everything is covered in snow and the air holds the bitter crisp of winter which settles a hazy fog over the limited hours of sunlight. I love going outside and playing in the snow and feeling the warm sun on my cold face and being blinded by the white glimmering world. But it’s impossible to enjoy the snow when it’s negative and the fog freezes on your glasses and the sun doesn’t warm your face. Although the dancing ice crystals are pretty. I did get to go ice skating – a lot. And bowling, and shopping, and a tour a glass making/ art gallery type deal. Mostly I just enjoyed my time with the Stimpful family. I loved playing games, watching shows, dancing (or what I like to call dancing), bothering each other, playing barbies and the wii, fighting over the front seat, baking yummy treats, chasing the northern lights, staying up late and sleeping in. It was awesome.
The only thing that I did not like about spending Christmas in Alaska was breaking down. We were on the way to pick up one of Kaytie’s friends and then hit up the ice rink when the battery volts quickly started going down. It was the alternator dying. At least this time I wasn’t stuck in the middle of nowhere, we weren’t too far from home, however it was –15 and the window wouldn’t roll up. It turned out ok, one of their friends towed us home and we pushed the truck into the garage.
Also I hated leaving. I hate saying goodbye … and packing. But the plane ride into anchorage was beautiful. The moon was bright and the air was clear so I was able to watch the town as we took off. I saw the endless territory of white bliss and the rivers that cut a path. I could see the lights of the coal train as it pulled through the terrain and headlights that guided the cars through the icy path. It was cool, but next time I visit it will be during the summer time!

It's been about a year

I guess a nostalgic 2011 and a hopeful 2012 post is required. I loved 2011, 2010 was good but very stressful. 2011 was just plain awesome. I have so many memories and so many firsts that will forever be locked in 2011 … except my memory is whack and I’ll probably forget all the ones that I don’t have photos to remember by. I probably won’t remember the tons of hotels I stayed in. I won’t remember the tons of stores I worked in, or the schools for that matter. I doubt the exhausting pet smarts will stay and the week working in NYC. A dust cloud will settle over the sleepless visits to Longwood and the trips to visit with sisters and nieces and nephews. A fog will capture the hot summer with an overheating neon and endless nights talking to friends. Stephs wedding will become a blur and what happened at the beach house will wash away with the waves. Graduation is a distant achievement and the hours logged as a camfel tech will blend. 2011 will be remembered as one of the best years of my life and the excruciating days will fade to nonexistence. This past year will be one I will forever relive… “remember that one time we…” “when I lived in Cali for a season…” “when I worked in NYC for that week…” “while I was working for camfel…” “during my LU graduation…” “At Steph’s wedding…” “remember that time I came and visited you…” “Hey! I’ve been there!”

As for the expectations of 2012. I’m too realistic to make resolutions because I don’t keep them – like my first semester Camfel goals – yup not any tanner (who didn’t see that coming) - I haven’t written more – and failed at learning the guitar (not my fault I tried but didn’t have a teacher and no internet) – my British accent was a bust – I’m continually learning more about Jesus so that one was a success. :D
But I still have high hopes for 2012. I don’t know what to expect, there’s a lot of unknown that’s hidden in this new year, I guess that’s true for anybody right? I’m excited to see what adventure God has planned next. For now I’m content knowing there will be new memories, more laughter, strangers becoming friends, lots of love, and joy in every situation.

Off the face of the earth – or Cali

So I guess I really suck at this blog writing thing my bad, but here is a much anticipated update.
Being that I’m two weeks from the end of my tour I’ve finally come to terms that I’m the local team. I’ve spent every weekend at the condo. I’ve had to get up crazy early to drive to shows and stand around waiting for our contact person to show up and then do a crazy fast set up with a complicated stage. I’ve had tons of fun hanging out with a best friend and soaking up life.
There have been few highlights this semester. We finally made it out of California, I had been looking forward to breaking outta Cali since I knew I would be stuck here. So we JUST cross the border into Arizona and the van breaks down. We have to be towed back to California. Seriously. The van turns out to be dead dead. The crankshaft is broken in half and half of the oil pan is missing. Once again I managed to do something the mechanic didn’t know was possible. But technically Rosita was driving so she did it. So the engine was dead and Camfel ended up junking Van 19. We got a rental truck, which was a fantastic ride, expect we had to take all the equipment into the hotel with us. Which offered a perfect opportunity to take the dolly for a spin in the parking lot. And we got to spent two fantastic nights with my Aunt and Uncle and have dinner with my Cousin Tara and her family. I realized how much I love my family and how awesome they are. Then we headed back to Cali – not even gone a week.
We also made a trek up to Nevada for a day and that went swell (sarcasm) – we hit the mountains and had to put chains on the tires which neither of us had done so that was an experience. So we aren’t too fond of Nevada and then we went to San Jose for a few nights before thanksgiving. After one of our shows we decided to go check out the Winchester Mystery House which was kinda cool and kinda boring. Thanksgiving was fantastic, well getting there sucked. In true Trostad fashion our ‘new’ van broke down, in the middle of nowhere on some mountain road. I literally had to cross the road to get service to talk to the boss. My aunt and uncle had to come pick us up and take us back to their place – and on the way back we went for a milk shake run at 11 at night to satisfy my uncle. It was a great get away from Diamond Bar and I loved spending time with family. I didn’t want to leave.
I guess most of the interesting moments have the spontaneous moments spent with one of my best friends. We’ve had breakfast pancakes, and dance sessions in the van, tv marathons, soccer and volleyball in the park. We’ve rocked out with Switchfoot and Anberlin, walked countless city, streets and talked so many endless hours. We've met interesting people in schools and out, taken pictures, and moon-walked everywhere. We went to the beach and Ro got her feet washed in the waves and freaked out. We are continually in the search for the perfect FroYo. We stop at random stores along the highway, and take pictures with dinosaurs. I constantly yell out ‘that’s soo pretty’ and scream ‘we’re gonna die’. So this is my life, I get up go to a show, set up, tear down, come home, watch tv, make dinner, go to bed. Just like anybody all my fun is the random stops in between.

Always Waiting.

This was also written a while ago ...

I feel like I’m always waiting for my life to begin. In high school I was waiting for graduation, then college, then moving away, then graduation. I waited for my shift to end, waited for my paper to be written, the exam to be graded, meetings to be over, summer to begin. After Longwood I thought that would be it – the waiting would be done and I’d be a grown up and life would start. And it did … except not for me. I moved back home with my parents and started the serious job hunting that would land me a fabulous job within the month. While I waited for my ‘real’ job to show up I worked with my mom and hated it. I grew frustrated with my life and for the most part wasted my days – I mean it wasn’t a complete waste; I had great times with my friends and Bible study with my girls, and made decent money. Still it wasn’t what I wanted. So I ended up applying for Camfel, and getting this other ‘temp’ job. Now I’m waiting for this tour to be over so I can get my ‘real’ job and start my ‘real’ life. Even now, I feel like I’m waiting for my tour to begin. I’m stuck at the condo just waiting to actually get on the road – when in fact this is my tour, this is my life, this is real.
I hate waiting and I feel like that’s all I ever do. I wait. I’m never content in any circumstance; I’m always waiting for whatever comes next and right now can never be good enough for me. Once again the grass is always greener somewhere else. Here I have this awesome life with amazing friends and an unbelievable family and I wish I was someone else doing anything else.
I’m torn because the Bible says to wait on the Lord and all that mess. So that’s what I do, I wait for God to open up opportunities and to show me what’s next and it works. I guess where I fall short is waiting for tomorrow. I’m constantly looking ahead to what’s next and I’m not focusing on what’s happening now. I’m waiting, but it’s almost like I’m demanding to know what happens next. I trust that God’s got it all figured out and I’m waiting for Him to let me in on the plan, but I’m too focused on what’s next. I need to spend more time enjoying and soaking up the now than wondering what’ll happen in the weeks, months, or years to come. God has me here for a reason, instead of constantly questioning what’s next, I should be focused on His plan for today. So I’m determined to start absorbing today, and not just the fun stuff in between the mundane, I want to live for the ordinary and enjoy the routine everyday stuff. In a few years I’m gonna wish I was still in Diamond Bar lounging around the pool in October … actually I could be wishing that in a few months. :P

Driving through the storm.

So I wrote this blog a while ago, but being at the condo without internet has SUCKED and I've been unable to post it but here it is ...

Yup, currently Rosita is driving through a rain storm. I love storms. Especially rain storms. There’s just something about dark gray heavy clouds covering the sun and the rain on my face and being soaked. I like playing in the rain, when the first drops hit my face and the air on my arms stand up and I question why I’m going outside. Then the soft thick drops turn into pelting pings as the clouds release a steady downpour that pounds through the air and my clothes are instantly drenched. I spin around until I’m dizzy and slosh through the puddles, squish through the soft grass, and sink in the Indian sand mud holes. I play ball with the dog and laugh as I whip my head around and the heavy ringlets stick to my face. I like just standing in the middle of the open field, listening to the rain and absorbing the scent of rainfall and renewed earth as the water hits the trees and cleans the terrain. Then the downpour changes to a light drizzle, and it changes back and forth between heavy and light showers.
Then changing and drinking a hot cup of coffee, or tea, or hot chocolate, and reading a book or watching a movie. I like the pounding rain drops, claps of thunder, and snaps of lighting. I like watching the storm move across the sky, I can see it come and watch it go. I like the sun highlighting the fresh lawn. I like feeling the heat on my skin, however I don’t like the thick wet air as the sun steams everything. Of course this is assuming I don’t have anything to do. If I HAVE to go out in the rain it sucks. It makes me sticky and wet and my hair curls and gets poofy – pretty awful. And I don’t like one rainy day after another.
I’ve missed the rain. It hardly ever rains in California. Sure the sunshine is great and the cloudy mornings are awesome but there’s just something about a random rainy day that makes me happy. But I’m glad I’m not in VA where they’ve had day after day after day of rain, that has gotta suck.