So I wrote this blog a while ago, but being at the condo without internet has SUCKED and I've been unable to post it but here it is ...
Yup, currently Rosita is driving through a rain storm. I love storms. Especially rain storms. There’s just something about dark gray heavy clouds covering the sun and the rain on my face and being soaked. I like playing in the rain, when the first drops hit my face and the air on my arms stand up and I question why I’m going outside. Then the soft thick drops turn into pelting pings as the clouds release a steady downpour that pounds through the air and my clothes are instantly drenched. I spin around until I’m dizzy and slosh through the puddles, squish through the soft grass, and sink in the Indian sand mud holes. I play ball with the dog and laugh as I whip my head around and the heavy ringlets stick to my face. I like just standing in the middle of the open field, listening to the rain and absorbing the scent of rainfall and renewed earth as the water hits the trees and cleans the terrain. Then the downpour changes to a light drizzle, and it changes back and forth between heavy and light showers.
Then changing and drinking a hot cup of coffee, or tea, or hot chocolate, and reading a book or watching a movie. I like the pounding rain drops, claps of thunder, and snaps of lighting. I like watching the storm move across the sky, I can see it come and watch it go. I like the sun highlighting the fresh lawn. I like feeling the heat on my skin, however I don’t like the thick wet air as the sun steams everything. Of course this is assuming I don’t have anything to do. If I HAVE to go out in the rain it sucks. It makes me sticky and wet and my hair curls and gets poofy – pretty awful. And I don’t like one rainy day after another.
I’ve missed the rain. It hardly ever rains in California. Sure the sunshine is great and the cloudy mornings are awesome but there’s just something about a random rainy day that makes me happy. But I’m glad I’m not in VA where they’ve had day after day after day of rain, that has gotta suck.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Dream On
Recently (and by recently I mean a while ago) I was asked what my dreams in life were. My reply was the usual - I don't have any dreams. And it's true, I don't. I kinda just let life happen and fall into this or that. Which is cool, because it’s like I gave my life up to God and I allow Him to direct me. But at the same time it's like maybe I should have a goal in life. Besides the usual happily ever after dream which most girls seek. Honestly, as cheesy as it sounds, all I want to do is to spread the love of Jesus. So many people are hurting inside and I want to show them there is a better way of life.
I use to want to be everything when I grew up, so I did a little of this and some of that but didn't become good at anything. I didn't have to fight for good grades, didn't care about being the best volleyballer or soccer player, I'm happy just tinkering with the piano, I don't mind singing horribly, and I'm cool with writing awesome paragraphs. I'm average. Jack of all trades, master of none. The one thing that I do rock at is entertaining little kids. Little kids love me, no lie, give me a little kid and we'll be best friends. Sadly that doesn't help my dream or career choice.
In the season premiere of Glee last night – yeah I know, I’m a dork – two of the main characters questioned the reality of being good enough to achieve their dreams. It got me thinking, maybe the reason I don’t have dreams for my life is because I never thought I was good enough to be anything. In the episode, when the characters saw people who were better than they were, they didn’t just back down, after crying about it, they were determined to be better. Don’t get me wrong, my parents always told me that I could be anything I wanted to be … I just never had the desire and passion to be anything. I've never strived to dream big. I was content to stay under the radar. I guess maybe I was afraid that I would fail, or my dreams would be too unrealistic. Like oh, I'm not good enough to make it so why set my heart up for failure. Maybe part of it is because nobody told me I could do it, I’m one to underestimate myself, and nobody’s told me I’m more than average, probably because I’m not – so my dreams will probably set me up for failure, my only talent is annoying my siblings (and others that happen to be blessed to have me in there life =P). Anyways, after talking to one of the techs during training my view is starting to change. He has big dreams for his future and at first I wanted to be like 'dude, you'll never make it' but why can't he? He's pretty awesome, has serious talent, and if it's in God's will then why not dream big? God gives us our desires for a reason, and maybe God's purpose for his life is in Hollywood.
And maybe God gave me the desires of my heart to dream big?
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
What's Happening?
Updates
A lot has happened, and I wrote the blogs so I wouldn’t forget but now that I’ve reread them I don’t want to post them. They sucked – actually my writing in generally sucks, but whatever.
Now where to begin???
Well my boss is a home wrecker. He split up my team, so now May is currently in the Midwest(ish area) and I’m still stuck in Cali. Traveling the same road. Back and forth, back and forth. Don’t get me wrong, Cali grew on me and I didn’t hate it as much as I thought I would, but I’m getting sick of it. :P I’ve seen Hollywood, climbed to the sign, sat in LA traffic, ate at the Sana Monica Pier, walked in the Pacific, owned San Francisco, took pictures on the Golden Gate Bridge, … there’s only so much more I can do. =P
Anyways, last week me and a newbie, Megan, headed up I-5 to do a week of shows. She was actually pretty good and Andrew was going to send her and May to Texas but she ended up making the decision to go home. Lucky for me my new partner is AWESOME!!! Rosita is a friend from back home who needed a job and so she was hired and flew out on Saturday. So Sunday after church I took her to the office and introduced her to frames, then we had our first show on Monday … 2 hours away. And we had to be there 2 hours before, we had to leave at 3:30am – crazy! Then we couldn’t find the janitor to let us in, so we went through the cafeteria – and Rosita is a fantastic tech. :D
Then today we had another show, only an hour away. So we got there a little early, couldn’t find ANYBODY, eventually after walking through an abandoned courtyard (btw schools are very sketch in the dark) we found a ‘janitor’ and he didn’t know anything! He wasn’t sure where the assembly was going to be, or where the kid would sit, or where the outlets were, or if we could tape on the floor. So we kind of just made it up. It went great, set up was beautiful and we still had time to spare. Except we had 6 shows. We watched the same program 6 times in a row. And I couldn’t go eat lunch so I got a headache. Lame.
Now we’re chilling at the Condo, I’m getting Rosita addicted to Veronica Mars and we’ll head back up I-5 again tomorrow.
A lot has happened, and I wrote the blogs so I wouldn’t forget but now that I’ve reread them I don’t want to post them. They sucked – actually my writing in generally sucks, but whatever.
Now where to begin???
Well my boss is a home wrecker. He split up my team, so now May is currently in the Midwest(ish area) and I’m still stuck in Cali. Traveling the same road. Back and forth, back and forth. Don’t get me wrong, Cali grew on me and I didn’t hate it as much as I thought I would, but I’m getting sick of it. :P I’ve seen Hollywood, climbed to the sign, sat in LA traffic, ate at the Sana Monica Pier, walked in the Pacific, owned San Francisco, took pictures on the Golden Gate Bridge, … there’s only so much more I can do. =P
Anyways, last week me and a newbie, Megan, headed up I-5 to do a week of shows. She was actually pretty good and Andrew was going to send her and May to Texas but she ended up making the decision to go home. Lucky for me my new partner is AWESOME!!! Rosita is a friend from back home who needed a job and so she was hired and flew out on Saturday. So Sunday after church I took her to the office and introduced her to frames, then we had our first show on Monday … 2 hours away. And we had to be there 2 hours before, we had to leave at 3:30am – crazy! Then we couldn’t find the janitor to let us in, so we went through the cafeteria – and Rosita is a fantastic tech. :D
Then today we had another show, only an hour away. So we got there a little early, couldn’t find ANYBODY, eventually after walking through an abandoned courtyard (btw schools are very sketch in the dark) we found a ‘janitor’ and he didn’t know anything! He wasn’t sure where the assembly was going to be, or where the kid would sit, or where the outlets were, or if we could tape on the floor. So we kind of just made it up. It went great, set up was beautiful and we still had time to spare. Except we had 6 shows. We watched the same program 6 times in a row. And I couldn’t go eat lunch so I got a headache. Lame.
Now we’re chilling at the Condo, I’m getting Rosita addicted to Veronica Mars and we’ll head back up I-5 again tomorrow.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Forgotten Loves
So for work I have to go into auditoriums, or gyms, or cafeterias, or a mixture of the three and set up for our show. Recently I’ve done some auditoriums and we’ve had some beautiful theaters. Every time I set foot on an empty stage I just want to stand in the middle and breathe, there’s nothing like a vacant stage. As I survey the absent audience I get a twinge in my heart and I realize how much I miss being up on stage. I love acting and I never realized how much I missed it.
In high school I was in the drama club and it was cool, but we only did competition at the beginning of the year, maybe a Christmas play and then we just sort of messed around, we never did a big production or anything. After I graduated I worked with the kids and youth in church and I wrote and acted in some small skits and puppet shows but nothing big. Then at Longwood I did some skits with BCM until everything got crazy and I didn’t have time to breathe let alone act. I just had too much going on, and didn’t really think about it. But now that I’m on that stage all the memories come back. The endless practices, memorizing lines, messing up, goofing off, funky costumes, set design, practice and more practice. Then opening night, a full house, blinded by the bright lights, and suddenly it’s not me anymore. Everybody’s staring at me but I’m completely lost in character and my nerves settle because there’s no room for my emotions. And for that block of time life is scripted, all I have to do is remember what comes next. I’m probably not describing this well but I love it. I can’t wait to get back into acting.
I’ve actually had to set up in a lot of cafegymatoriums. The last school I was in they had volleyball practice right after tear down. Another love that I had forgotten about. I love volleyball. I’m not sure which is greater volleyball or soccer but I love both and haven’t played either in forever. Anybody up for a game?
You’ll notice I have a lot of loves, sadly I’m not great at anything. I almost wish I sought out one thing and put all my energy into one goal. But I wouldn’t be able to choose just one, besides I think I’d get bored after a while, and it’s nice to come in from playing soccer with Annie to struggle through a song on the keyboard, I like variety. And I mean I’m not straight up awful (at everything), people would tell me I was good but I think it’s my passion that they see, not so much the quality – trust me I suck at life. =P
In high school I was in the drama club and it was cool, but we only did competition at the beginning of the year, maybe a Christmas play and then we just sort of messed around, we never did a big production or anything. After I graduated I worked with the kids and youth in church and I wrote and acted in some small skits and puppet shows but nothing big. Then at Longwood I did some skits with BCM until everything got crazy and I didn’t have time to breathe let alone act. I just had too much going on, and didn’t really think about it. But now that I’m on that stage all the memories come back. The endless practices, memorizing lines, messing up, goofing off, funky costumes, set design, practice and more practice. Then opening night, a full house, blinded by the bright lights, and suddenly it’s not me anymore. Everybody’s staring at me but I’m completely lost in character and my nerves settle because there’s no room for my emotions. And for that block of time life is scripted, all I have to do is remember what comes next. I’m probably not describing this well but I love it. I can’t wait to get back into acting.
I’ve actually had to set up in a lot of cafegymatoriums. The last school I was in they had volleyball practice right after tear down. Another love that I had forgotten about. I love volleyball. I’m not sure which is greater volleyball or soccer but I love both and haven’t played either in forever. Anybody up for a game?
You’ll notice I have a lot of loves, sadly I’m not great at anything. I almost wish I sought out one thing and put all my energy into one goal. But I wouldn’t be able to choose just one, besides I think I’d get bored after a while, and it’s nice to come in from playing soccer with Annie to struggle through a song on the keyboard, I like variety. And I mean I’m not straight up awful (at everything), people would tell me I was good but I think it’s my passion that they see, not so much the quality – trust me I suck at life. =P
Monday, September 5, 2011
It's a whole new kinda of missing you
So I knew leaving home would be hard. I just packed up my entire life in a suitcase and left everything I knew to go to LA, totally trusting God that this was where I was suppose to be. I knew it was going to suck to say goodbye and that I would go through some serious friend withdraws - but what I wasn't prepared for was missing the people I just met. I didn't expect to develop fast friendships with the other Camfel techs. The person I was going to be living with yeah, but not everybody. However I just spent two weeks training with an amazing group of people. Now as everybody is gone and everything is quite I realized how much they've come to mean to me. The girls are so flippin awesome, I am seriously blessed to have met them and call them friends. I've learned a lot from both the girls and the guys and I love hearing about their life and their current adventures. I can't wait to see what God has planned for them. And as much as I was ready to leave and be done with training all I really want to do right now is have a Disney night - with a snack party - and just sit around and play music (and by play I mean sing awfully as the musicians in the group actually play) - pretty much just chill with this awesome group of friends.
[insert group picture here]
[insert group picture here]
Sunday, August 28, 2011
"Goals are dreams with deadlines." ~Diana Scharf Hunt
Goals for the next 10 months
1. learn to play guitar
2. write like crazy
3. work on my tan
4. learn more about Jesus
- I had some others but I've already forgotten.
The first one is probably the one I'm most excited about. I've always wanted to learn how to play the guitar but nobody has been willing to teach me. Until now. My VanMate informed me that she loves teaching and I love learning - it's win win. So we bought our baby, Kali (Or Cali) and the learning has begun ... it's gonna take a while. :-D seriously my grin couldn't be bigger. I love playing music and my skills are limited. I taught myself to play the piano when I was like 10 and I still have yet to master the left hand and have to write the notes out, I can't just look at sheet music and know what to play. It's pitiful, I feel bad for my family that had/has to listen to my poor attempt at playing out a song. Hopefully guitar goes better. =P Most of the techs at Camfel can play an instrument and I was/am seriously jealous. I loved listening to whoever played in the lobby. Soon that will be me :)
The second goal is kinda on going since middle school. I love writing. (I think I've mentioned this before =P). And like everything else I'm not particularly good at it. Regardless I want to spend this time on the road writing. I know I'm not going to spell out a novel but just short stories or even blog post will suffice. I love crafting imagery and hopefully the more I write the better it will become.
Goal three is a little less realistic. Every summer I claim this will be the year of my tan. And every summer I fail. However, thanks to training I am slightly darker, you'll notice my hair-bow line and if you squint you can see a shorts and socks line. I was pretty excited. But I'll spend the rest of the summer in sunny California so hopefully I can get a little less pasty. However, I am tired of seeing new freckles.
Goal four is kind of a life sentence. I guess I just want to experience Him in a different way. I'm use to my small town church services and worshiping at BCM. Already God has opened my eyes to new things and I'm just really excited to go to different church services every Sunday. However I do miss my community of believers back home.
Of course my memory is seriously whack and I can't remember what else I wanted to do, but this seems like a satisfying list. If I ever remember I might add them to this list.
EDIT 9/22:
5. I'm suppose to be working on learning a British accent - I don't remember how this started but Wesley and Adam decided they were gonna learn an accent, and Wesley informed me that I too was going to learn a British accent. So far it's as crappy as ever.
1. learn to play guitar
2. write like crazy
3. work on my tan
4. learn more about Jesus
- I had some others but I've already forgotten.
The first one is probably the one I'm most excited about. I've always wanted to learn how to play the guitar but nobody has been willing to teach me. Until now. My VanMate informed me that she loves teaching and I love learning - it's win win. So we bought our baby, Kali (Or Cali) and the learning has begun ... it's gonna take a while. :-D seriously my grin couldn't be bigger. I love playing music and my skills are limited. I taught myself to play the piano when I was like 10 and I still have yet to master the left hand and have to write the notes out, I can't just look at sheet music and know what to play. It's pitiful, I feel bad for my family that had/has to listen to my poor attempt at playing out a song. Hopefully guitar goes better. =P Most of the techs at Camfel can play an instrument and I was/am seriously jealous. I loved listening to whoever played in the lobby. Soon that will be me :)
The second goal is kinda on going since middle school. I love writing. (I think I've mentioned this before =P). And like everything else I'm not particularly good at it. Regardless I want to spend this time on the road writing. I know I'm not going to spell out a novel but just short stories or even blog post will suffice. I love crafting imagery and hopefully the more I write the better it will become.
Goal three is a little less realistic. Every summer I claim this will be the year of my tan. And every summer I fail. However, thanks to training I am slightly darker, you'll notice my hair-bow line and if you squint you can see a shorts and socks line. I was pretty excited. But I'll spend the rest of the summer in sunny California so hopefully I can get a little less pasty. However, I am tired of seeing new freckles.
Goal four is kind of a life sentence. I guess I just want to experience Him in a different way. I'm use to my small town church services and worshiping at BCM. Already God has opened my eyes to new things and I'm just really excited to go to different church services every Sunday. However I do miss my community of believers back home.
Of course my memory is seriously whack and I can't remember what else I wanted to do, but this seems like a satisfying list. If I ever remember I might add them to this list.
EDIT 9/22:
5. I'm suppose to be working on learning a British accent - I don't remember how this started but Wesley and Adam decided they were gonna learn an accent, and Wesley informed me that I too was going to learn a British accent. So far it's as crappy as ever.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Busy but not Forgotten
Hey guys. So I know I haven't posted in forever. I've been busy. :P So this is gonna be a crappy update post just to fill you in on whats been going on. First off goodbyes suck! I don't think they'll ever get better. My first goodbye didn't even seem like I was leaving. It didn't sink in that I wouldn't be seeing her until Christmas. It wasn't until some of the last goodbyes that it really sunk it that I was leaving and I really wanted to cry - but I didn't. I seriously thought I would on the plane, especially after hugging my mom and she started to tear up. I guess staying up the entire night packing helped me sleep and not think about it. And saying bye to Tiffy almost had me. So I left ridiculously early in the morning and got to LAX Sunday afternoon. I didn't having anything to eat for about 24 hours and I got a terrible migraine. Terrible. So the first day here I spent sleeping. Well after a while I did get up and lay down in the lobby where some of the girls were chillin and we had a worship session- that was fun.
Then training began. This was nothing like I thought it would be. It was rough. I had sore muscles the entire first week I think. And I was exhausted. (not LU exhausted though) ... however I had a headache the entire week so that probably contributed to my tiredness. I can't ever remember how many nights I didn't even get ready for bed, I just fell asleep and woke up the next morning. It was rough. I know ya'all are probably wondering what exactly I'm doing but without seeing it I can't really describe it. I think somebody took pictures so I'll try to steal them from they're facebook later.
The girls are staying on LABI (latin american bible institute) campus. It's where we have training and they cook for us. For a picky eater the food choices has been terrible. Theres more food that I don't eat then that I do. But when they have chicken its great ... except they usually serve it with rice. :( However the girls are moving to the condo, which is where the guys have been staying. Training is over and most of us (if we haven't left already) ship out next week.
I leave Thursday, me and my lovely VanMate, May, are gonna be touring Northern Cali. And probably cross into Oregon and Nevada. It's suppose to be pretty and tons of fun so it should be great. It's gonna suck to say goodbye to everybody. ... well it already sucks. The first few east coast vans have shipped out. It's lame. We've just spent these two weeks bonding and now we have to peace out. I love the girls and we have a good time and I don't want to say bye, and the guys are awesome and really funny, yeah this is gonna suck.
Oh I did get to go to Hollywood!!!! It wasn't that great, but I still had a blast. We walked up a bit of Hollywood Boulevard and went to this cool vintage store. We ate at a NY pizza place, which was alright then walked to this music store. Alice and me had an awesome time going through crappy cds to find the worse one. I forgot what she ended up getting but they were just awful. Then we decided to go to the beach so we piled back into the vans and then we found the cool part of Hollywood, too late of course. And our van didn't even make it to the beach because we got separated. However the next day after church we went to the Sana Monica Pier and I was able to see the Pacific. Sunday was lots of fun we walked the Pier which was alright, and I went to the Oasis Church. The actual pastor wasn't there but the guest speaker was pretty cool. The part I liked was when he talked about basking in God's love. How so much of our thoughts are centered on how we mess up and how unworthy we are that we fail to just let God love us. I know that a lot of my time is spent on the negative aspects and how God still has a lot of work to do in my life to truly be a reflection of Jesus. I don't spend a lot of time just allowing God to love me. Then Sunday night I went to the Free Chapel in OC because the pastor was suppose to be amazing - but he was on vacation. But the guest speaker was awesome. He talked about the Dream Center and told life stories about the lives changed there. He preached about God using the lowest points in our life, when our dreams are crushed and we just want to give up, it's in these low seasons that God propels us forward and because of these struggles we will be stronger. I was just reminded that God does have a perfect plan and He excepts me to submit all my dreams and desires to Him and trust in His amazingly crafted purpose for my life. It's a nice and rather scary reminder.
Ok so that's an update to my life. Hopefully when I'm on the road I'll have more internetz and be able to post more blogs.
Then training began. This was nothing like I thought it would be. It was rough. I had sore muscles the entire first week I think. And I was exhausted. (not LU exhausted though) ... however I had a headache the entire week so that probably contributed to my tiredness. I can't ever remember how many nights I didn't even get ready for bed, I just fell asleep and woke up the next morning. It was rough. I know ya'all are probably wondering what exactly I'm doing but without seeing it I can't really describe it. I think somebody took pictures so I'll try to steal them from they're facebook later.
The girls are staying on LABI (latin american bible institute) campus. It's where we have training and they cook for us. For a picky eater the food choices has been terrible. Theres more food that I don't eat then that I do. But when they have chicken its great ... except they usually serve it with rice. :( However the girls are moving to the condo, which is where the guys have been staying. Training is over and most of us (if we haven't left already) ship out next week.
I leave Thursday, me and my lovely VanMate, May, are gonna be touring Northern Cali. And probably cross into Oregon and Nevada. It's suppose to be pretty and tons of fun so it should be great. It's gonna suck to say goodbye to everybody. ... well it already sucks. The first few east coast vans have shipped out. It's lame. We've just spent these two weeks bonding and now we have to peace out. I love the girls and we have a good time and I don't want to say bye, and the guys are awesome and really funny, yeah this is gonna suck.
Oh I did get to go to Hollywood!!!! It wasn't that great, but I still had a blast. We walked up a bit of Hollywood Boulevard and went to this cool vintage store. We ate at a NY pizza place, which was alright then walked to this music store. Alice and me had an awesome time going through crappy cds to find the worse one. I forgot what she ended up getting but they were just awful. Then we decided to go to the beach so we piled back into the vans and then we found the cool part of Hollywood, too late of course. And our van didn't even make it to the beach because we got separated. However the next day after church we went to the Sana Monica Pier and I was able to see the Pacific. Sunday was lots of fun we walked the Pier which was alright, and I went to the Oasis Church. The actual pastor wasn't there but the guest speaker was pretty cool. The part I liked was when he talked about basking in God's love. How so much of our thoughts are centered on how we mess up and how unworthy we are that we fail to just let God love us. I know that a lot of my time is spent on the negative aspects and how God still has a lot of work to do in my life to truly be a reflection of Jesus. I don't spend a lot of time just allowing God to love me. Then Sunday night I went to the Free Chapel in OC because the pastor was suppose to be amazing - but he was on vacation. But the guest speaker was awesome. He talked about the Dream Center and told life stories about the lives changed there. He preached about God using the lowest points in our life, when our dreams are crushed and we just want to give up, it's in these low seasons that God propels us forward and because of these struggles we will be stronger. I was just reminded that God does have a perfect plan and He excepts me to submit all my dreams and desires to Him and trust in His amazingly crafted purpose for my life. It's a nice and rather scary reminder.
Ok so that's an update to my life. Hopefully when I'm on the road I'll have more internetz and be able to post more blogs.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)