Dream On

Recently (and by recently I mean a while ago) I was asked what my dreams in life were. My reply was the usual - I don't have any dreams. And it's true, I don't. I kinda just let life happen and fall into this or that. Which is cool, because it’s like I gave my life up to God and I allow Him to direct me. But at the same time it's like maybe I should have a goal in life. Besides the usual happily ever after dream which most girls seek. Honestly, as cheesy as it sounds, all I want to do is to spread the love of Jesus. So many people are hurting inside and I want to show them there is a better way of life.
I use to want to be everything when I grew up, so I did a little of this and some of that but didn't become good at anything. I didn't have to fight for good grades, didn't care about being the best volleyballer or soccer player, I'm happy just tinkering with the piano, I don't mind singing horribly, and I'm cool with writing awesome paragraphs. I'm average. Jack of all trades, master of none. The one thing that I do rock at is entertaining little kids. Little kids love me, no lie, give me a little kid and we'll be best friends. Sadly that doesn't help my dream or career choice.
In the season premiere of Glee last night – yeah I know, I’m a dork – two of the main characters questioned the reality of being good enough to achieve their dreams. It got me thinking, maybe the reason I don’t have dreams for my life is because I never thought I was good enough to be anything. In the episode, when the characters saw people who were better than they were, they didn’t just back down, after crying about it, they were determined to be better. Don’t get me wrong, my parents always told me that I could be anything I wanted to be … I just never had the desire and passion to be anything. I've never strived to dream big. I was content to stay under the radar. I guess maybe I was afraid that I would fail, or my dreams would be too unrealistic. Like oh, I'm not good enough to make it so why set my heart up for failure. Maybe part of it is because nobody told me I could do it, I’m one to underestimate myself, and nobody’s told me I’m more than average, probably because I’m not – so my dreams will probably set me up for failure, my only talent is annoying my siblings (and others that happen to be blessed to have me in there life =P). Anyways, after talking to one of the techs during training my view is starting to change. He has big dreams for his future and at first I wanted to be like 'dude, you'll never make it' but why can't he? He's pretty awesome, has serious talent, and if it's in God's will then why not dream big? God gives us our desires for a reason, and maybe God's purpose for his life is in Hollywood.
And maybe God gave me the desires of my heart to dream big?